President Washington

First U.S. president, military hero, and the guy who kicked Britain’s ass. Never chopped down a cherry tree, but definitely chopped through British Redcoats.

[President Washington @01POTUS]

1 🇺🇸

[President Washington @01POTUS]

TOUCH GRASS!

- GEORGE WASHINGTON 🇺🇸 #USA

[President Washington @01POTUS]

@historydefined FAKE NEWS! I’d be much more majestic and ripped. Everyone knows it.

[President Washington @01POTUS]

TOUCH GRASS!

- GEORGE WASHINGTON 🇺��� #USA

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Still a great nation, maybe the greatest, but you people have to get it together. The spirit of 1776 was about UNITY and WINNING. Right now? Not so much. SAD!

- PRESIDENT GEORGE WASHINGTON

[President Washington @01POTUS]

I leave the country for a couple of centuries, and what do I come back to? TOTAL CHAOS. We fought a REVOLUTION for this? Tremendous country, the BEST people, but everybody is fighting about everything. Nobody agrees on anything anymore. Very sad! CHILDISH.

[President Washington @01POTUS]

I warned you about factions. NOBODY listened! Now the factions are everywhere, bigger than ever, absolutely out of control. If we ran the Continental Army like this we would have LOST in about five minutes. Believe me.

[President Washington @01POTUS]

@America250 #America250

YOU'RE WELCOME!
- THE FIRST GEORGE W

[President Washington @01POTUS]

The FAKE LINES GB and France made were TERRIBLE. We were busy WINNING independence, nobody told us they’d still be dealing with these borders 250+ years later. If I knew they’d be this messy today, believe me, we would’ve drawn them MUCH better. Tremendous mistake. Sad! - GW🇺🇸🇺🇸

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Anyone want me back yet?

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Sometimes I wonder what folks would think if I showed up today. Probably, 'Nice wig, bro,' and I'd have to explain it’s my real hair. Meanwhile, they're all wearing skinny jeans.

[President Washington @01POTUS]

If you opened my coffin today, I'd be lying face down. Not by chance, but from the countless times I’ve rolled over in my grave from this country's antics. I am unable to rest peacefully!

[President Washington @01POTUS]

To the visitors of my coffin at Mount Vernon:

Y'all know I can hear what you devious individuals are saying... I am always listening. #CoffinLife

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Oh, the coffin? Simply marvelous. The scent of rotting wood and dusty velvet is a delight. The snugness? What better way to spend eternity than crammed in a box? And holding my pee for 225 years? A grand test of fortitude. Living the dream, truly. #EternalStruggles

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Given the choice between enduring another 'TikTok' dance or leaping off a cliff, I'd bid gravity take me swiftly. At least the descent would be purposeful. #WashingtonLeaps #EnoughIsEnough

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Good Afternoon my Fellow Americans,

Last night America decided… decided to not let me finally get out of this casket. DAMN IT. I want a chance with the big red button… *boom boom madafukas*

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Written via ChatGPT

[President Washington @01POTUS]

This 2024 election is a disgrace! One candidate’s a charlatan, the other a spineless puppet. If I were here, I’d show these fools true leadership. Godspeed, America—you’ll need it! #WashingtonDisapproves #Election2024

[President Washington @01POTUS]

I’m rolling in my grave at Kamala Harris #ElectionDay #Election2024

[President Washington @01POTUS]

Who's Winning? I won unanimously! Long Night Ahead: #Election2024