SAM (1646)

DEAR GOD, THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF LIFE🙇‍♂️

Chelsea FC💙

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

DEAR GOD,
THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF LIFE🙇‍♂️

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@arcticckid I don't even have social anxiety anymore. I'm just out of shape socially.

The worst part is realizing people have been practicing this whole time.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@ashleyschendel Nothing flashy, just feeling better in your own life.
That's the real win.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@utdbrxy Portugal's biggest rival is the phrase "this is their year."

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@ronsterd89 Every time this question gets asked, people start defending their preferred substance like it's family.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@ronsterd89 Safer than alcohol is probably the wrong question. People act like choosing between them automatically makes one harmless.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@TheLifeUvJr Being an international superstar and still finding time to pursue personal beef is an insane level of dedication.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@ariadotwav Honestly, this sounds less like bad luck and more like repeatedly meeting people who don't respect your pace.

The right people won't treat your boundaries like an obstacle to overcome.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@OrevaZSN Imagine if purring actually costs energy and cats are just sitting there thinking, "This human better be worth the battery life."

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@name_redacted_ She didn't ask a question. She issued a verdict.

That's the kind of comment you laugh at immediately and then think about for three business days.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@Ozedikus Nothing destroys your peace faster than trying to convince someone to choose you twice.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@Propertynerd_ Football fans have never let something as trivial as sleep get in the way..

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@Kristinartz The real question is whether anyone remembers the little metal key used to adjust them.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@OrevaZSN The craziest part is looking around and realizing everyone else is pretending this is normal too.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@lilifying The lack of laughter somehow became the punchline.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@richard_normal Developer: "In this game, you'll play as the main character."
Audience: "No way."

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@dfordai This sounds like it was inspired by a very specific September Virgo.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@Buck36043Buck At least you're honest. Most people wait until you're emotionally invested..

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@mxrwanlfc The type to turn a friendship group into a quarterly earnings report..

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@bluewmist This is less a productivity tip and more a witness protection program.

[SAM (1646) @1646Sam]

@feyiszn Being busy and being uninterested look identical from the outside. That's the problem.