20TwentyTweeter

Poems using only twenty words, not 19 or 21 - just 20. Cheese & onion crisps for the mind. Ideal for readers with short attention-span. Often using doggerel.

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

Gianni Infantino
Fifa’s shiny-domed Valentino
Trump’s puppet-faced bambino
but possible UN head we all know
will be a resounding no-no

https://t.co/oq5VTS6nS2

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

the old bloke told me 
when I switch my hearing aid off
I get that Tennyson noise in my ear

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

what words will
I use to describe my
vivid
enigmatic 
anxious
hallucinatory
dreams
don’t worry
ski head
something’ll turn up

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

spent ages
filling in my
World Cup predictions wall chart

it’s obvious the
whole shebang
is going to be interminable …

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

Northern Monk
Oath Imperial Stout
apparently 
opulent 
no mention of what might be
consequent
leading me to become
corpulent 
somnambulant

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

I intend to spend more time
wasting time
biding my time
in my own time
spending more time
with me

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

There are so many songs about
California, Memphis,
Los Angeles, Georgia, Texas

but fewer about Norfolk, Suffolk, Cambridgeshire, Wisbech
Why!

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

At grammar school
we Catholics
had to sit in the gym changing room until the end of assembly.
Religious apartheid

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

The baker loved
the new machine
that evenly cut loaves.
He thought
it was the
best thing since sliced bread.

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

The invention and development of the fluorescent tube was revolutionary and made him millions. It was indeed his lightbulb moment.

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

The inscription on the reincarnationist’s gravestones read;

“Toby regrets that he never found out what happened next.”

 Perhaps next time.

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

Thank you Chip
for the tunes
gruff vocals 
quirky sideways look at life 

Wild Thing
You made my heart sing 

(Chip Taylor 1940-2026)

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

Wetherspoons is a pirate ship 
full of rolling bearded jolly jack tars
drunk sailors yo-ho-hoing 
prats of the Caribbean 

Oooh-arrghhh

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

in the garden centre
I tell my wife
she’s the most beautiful woman
there

she’s unsure
how to take this

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

in praise of
the everyday
the mundane
the ordinary
the simple unsung household item
that holds everything together
without fuss

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

the flower
she planted
had taken over completely
and was now
bright, iridescent and dangerous

it was an enhanced geranium

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

Just seen Pete Townsend in Primark
Could’ve sworn it was him
Perhaps it wasn’t him
It was Derek from school

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

pharmacy
the infant
cradled in her mother’s arms
was coughing

a kindly old man said,
“she’s got an infectious smile”.

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

our navy is depleted 
wave rulers used to be so 
the most potent weapon now possessed 
is a licorice torpedo

[20TwentyTweeter @20Tweeter]

I ate
poster, oil,
watercolour, gouache,
tempera and acrylic
paint

Later I realised
that the
doctor’s recommendation
was plant-based diet