HAPPINESS TIPS:
- Don’t listen to gossip
- Ignore what people say about you
- Design your own life
- Look for good in every situation
- Develop an attitude of gratitude
- Laugh more
- Keep family close
- Have goals
- Read more
- Actions before words
- Follow through
- Give more
My wife used to work as a magician's assistant. I think she has picked up a few tricks.
I came home from work and she was in the bedroom. She said, "Abracadabra!" and my mate Dave came out of the wardrobe, stark naked.
Poor bastard must have wondered what the fuck was going on!
With the conditions being as awful as they are, I thought I'd visit my 90 year old neighbour and ask if she needed anything from the shop. Turns out she did, so I gave her my list too. There's no point in both of us going out in this weather!
As I started to unload my seriously full trolley at the till, I noticed a little old lady behind me holding only a pint of milk...
"Is that all you've got?" I asked.
"Yes," she smiled.
"Well," I replied. "You'd better find another till, I'm going to be fucking ages!"