Russ Pancake

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@FOS @jordybahl Congrats on the sex

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@NjTank99 You can’t hook the arm of the defender, fall to the ground while dragging him down with you and expect a penalty. That simulation nonsense only works with the refs in the Premier League this season.

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@eyeslasho

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@FSUmollz Hopefully he's reliable tonight as that Subaru he rode in on

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 His base salary this year works out to about 70k a game check. He won’t be playing week 1. He made more than that at LSU.

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@brfootball Enron accounts weren’t smart enough to put this man on their balance sheet.

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@BarstoolBigCat @Jerrythekid21 Some serious libsty-nining

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@nypost Cleo McDowell could do the funniest thing...

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 The horny police's phone lines are currently jammed because some pole vaulter decided to play tummy sticks during the Olympics.

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 I don't know any Italian dishes... But I like Olive Garden

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@BarstoolBigCat Fluent in 3rd person

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 A man who just wants to keep his inner peace.

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 BoobsFanRonald

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@MenInBlazers A Cunt

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@ChefGruel Congrats on the seggs

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 You never know what kind of moves he'll make at the trade deadline.

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@nflmemes

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@nflmemes Gonna be like Lamar Latrell throwing the javelin

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 Hitting doubles

[Russ Pancake @2WeekBender]

@SaraElyse128 Yes... but with less pocket awareness than Stevie Wonder