Jennings

My grandson signed me to twitter, I thought twitter was the bit of skin between my twat & my shitter. Original member and founder of #TeamFollowSpack!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

@alexglfc Oh I remember now. As soon as I budge this diarrhoea, I promise I'll be back!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

@alexglfc What's twitter dear?

[Jennings @69Jennings]

Joey Essex gets slated in the newspapers everyday. But he doesn't let it bother him.

Mainly because he can't read!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

I hate people that use indirect insults at others because they're too scared to say it to their face.

You knobs know who you are!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

Sometimes, to impress my great grandchildren, I use long words that I don't fully understand, in an effort to sound more photosynthesis.

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You know what else tastes like chicken?

[Jennings @69Jennings]

I can't believe there's still never been a colour photo taken of a panda!

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I can always tell if they use fake dinosaurs in films!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

If history has taught us one thing....then we haven't learnt very much!

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@JustJonoM I'm 89 years old. What's your excuse for boring all 27 of your followers? #NoHope

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I don't envy the person who will have the job of courtroom artist at Rolf Harris' trial. No pressure there!! #CanYouGuessWhatItIsYet

[Jennings @69Jennings]

I've just read in the paper that 4153237 people got married last year.I've been around a year or two now,shouldn't that be an even number...

[Jennings @69Jennings]

@1ajekins That's funny how someone who looks like they have downs, forgets the word down!

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@1ajekins I'm off for a quiet one my local working men's club?? I think you should work on your grammar before you leave the house!!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

A girl on my TL has just tweeted 'I can cook, clean & iron, how am I still single?'

Er maybe because your face looks like my wrinkly arse!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

@1ajekins Why, where you going dear? Anywhere nice?

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I'm not saying @Fox_In_Ya_Box is clumsy or anything.

But he just managed to drop his air guitar.

[Jennings @69Jennings]

We've been trying to get our Georgie off the coke but he's just not ready yet!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

First pic of royal baby!!!!!

[Jennings @69Jennings]

When I die, I want my grave to have free wi-fi so people will come and see me more often.