God Almighty

I'm God. Duh.

[God Almighty @almighty]

Why the fuck can't I find the lemonade powder at Walmart?

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Why is there not a dating service called "LunchMeat?"

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@SlackHQ Too real?

[God Almighty @almighty]

The green bubble on Slack is destroying the world. Drop this feature and save our planet @SlackHQ @salesforce !

[God Almighty @almighty]

@SlackHQ The only reason there's a market for mouse jigglers. The anxiety-inducing, unrealistic-expectation-setting, attention-span-shortening, useless status-indicating green dots next to names. It's bad for the world. Drop this feature.

[God Almighty @almighty]

So yeah, despite my name plastered all over their cups, I do not endorse.

[God Almighty @almighty]

Couldn't disagree more with the hype about In-N-Out Burger @Innoutburger18. Stale-ass fries straight out the fryer. Tasteless patty. Underwhelming sauce.

[God Almighty @almighty]

@AmanpourCoPBS @mcuban @WalterIsaacson But the China comments might be kinda fear-mongering. To think that ANY human would withhold such a thing now might be kinda paranoid.

[God Almighty @almighty]

@AmanpourCoPBS @mcuban @WalterIsaacson Bravo! Much more interesting than Joe. Throw your hat in the ring. God commands it.

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@realDonaldTrump You're a retard!

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@jacksantucci Covid to the rescue!

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@ucci #okboomer !

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@ucci LOL

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@ucci G/d 2024 dawg

[God Almighty @almighty]

@ucci Pasta primavera eh madonne!

[God Almighty @almighty]

@ScottSowers Do you even lift, bro?

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@elonmusk Meh? Equalize the grip? Don't give your own product a head start? Marketing ploy city.

[God Almighty @almighty]

Cumin is the secret to meatloaf.

[God Almighty @almighty]

Try to NOT eat pasta after reading Strega Nona. Impossible. #streganona

[God Almighty @almighty]

Wow. https://t.co/K9801dVsS9