Anthony Scontrino

I'm the cool range howla Dr. Frankensteen

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

Entrepreneur? More like entree manure. Eat turds business nerds.

[itsgood @itsgoodcomedy]

Tonight on #COMEDYFUCKYEAH!
Kamari Stevens @AmandaGThang @shepkellycomedy @ed20black @Shandypockets @AnthonyScon & more! Hosted by @TheZambon
Tickets just 10 bucks!
Doors 8pm | Show 8:30pm
@dragonsdennola

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

I’ve had sex during Detective Pikachu

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

I’ve touched Jay Leno’s Tonight Show money

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

We must eliminate the Cocomelon

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

Mfw it’s Mardi Gras and everything is normal

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

The secret to getting any woman to fall for you is to act like their mouth is unbearably spicy the first few times you kiss them. Scream, cry, and punch the ground until your hands bleed and you’ll be irresistible in no time

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

In honor of the upcoming Biden presidency, I’ve sent all of my followers this shirt that seems like something he would wear if he was just a random guy on the street

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

@AgitpropComic I wish but Paul sadly passed away surrounded by friends and family later on in 2010

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

Since Bernie lost the nomination but accurately predicted how the election would go down, I’d like to nominate him to replace Paul, the octopus who correctly predicted the winner in all of Germany’s matches in the 2010 World Cup

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

Now that Trump is gonna be out of office soon, I can finally freely admit that I met him once and he really stinks. His head just smells bad and his feet are, like, so stinky and his butt smells like piss.

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

Mothers and rappers are the only reasons that voicemail still exists

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

I’ve committed to both finally investing in nice sneakers and not shaving or cutting my hair till next year, so I look like a gutter punk hypebeast

[turdimmunitypodcast @turdimmunity]

Wow, we made it to episode 20! Holy hot shit! Settle in for a nice ride right here. Lane gets possessed by a demon, and we are concerned.
https://t.co/psRChUi8xH

[turdimmunitypodcast @turdimmunity]

Say what?! We still here! Get on that episode 18! It’s completely clean, and is 75 minutes of pure shit!
https://t.co/J3X4DxB1MF…

[turdimmunitypodcast @turdimmunity]

Pod #16 is up! Vincent, Lane, and Anthony all lose a friend in this one!
https://t.co/HZe33xa3jW

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

I’m writing a script. No idea what it’s about but there will be a ton of phone calls that all end in clear and sincere goodbyes before hanging up.

[turdimmunitypodcast @turdimmunity]

The pod is up w/ special guest fill in @IsaacKozell! No Lane for this one, but he’ll be back next week!
https://t.co/LKamGJkCfQ

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

Let us not forget that Rally’s/Checkers tried to come up with a mascot in 2014, and this is what they agreed on

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

I always know that I’m being too optimistic about how my day’s gonna go when I lather, rinse, and then have the audacity to repeat

[Anthony Scontrino @AnthonyScon]

The best way to come up with a name for your business today is to have no idea how to spell the product you’re trying to sell