Apple Rankings

🍏 🍎 🍏 🍎 I rank and review apples. 🍎 🍏 🍎🍏Created by comedian @brianfrange

[Rep. Marie Gluesenkamp Perez @RepMGP]

Given that Red Delicious are the worst apples, have you ever wondered why they’re in every school cafeteria? It’s because there’s a list of "approved" apple varieties allowed in schools, and it hasn’t changed since Kmart sold firearms.

[💐 magpie 🦄 #ocelotalwaysgetshisman 🦚 @newhumangenome]

just tried a Sweetango apple. @AppleRankings was right this thing is wonderful.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

It is apple season in the southern hemisphere. May our children be comforted by the fact that somewhere in the world, fresh apples are grown.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

@Lovandfear It is possible with time and great suffering!

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

@bruhmoment3002 Your wisdom is on par with the great thinkers of antiquity and ought to be celebrated.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

@jennaluhoo Cosmic Crisp is a top quality apple and one of the heir apparent to the Honeycrisp throne. Your allegiance is not misguided.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

@casualgrace @brianfrange I have yet to come across this apple and the shame it brings upon my house knows no end.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

There are more Fuji Apples in China than there are total apples in North America, Europe, and Australia combined.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

The Red Delicious Apple was originally called “The Hawkeye.” This untainted variety still exists if you wish to sample the original flavor of this now detestable apple before it was defiled by capitalism.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

The Golden Delicious is an underrated and versatile apple that tastes like toilet cleaner.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

If Satan tempted Eve with a pear instead of an apple we would still reside in paradise.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

July is a barren void between apple harvests. The supermarkets are selling you cold-stored, year-old pig feed. WE ARE NOT PIGS!

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

The Red Delicious Apple is a bilious puddle of dog vomit encased in an elderly women’s change purse.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

The Granny Smith Apple is a baking apple. Eating one out of hand is a disgrace.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

@stannieholt This is a tragedy beyond comprehension.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

A transcendent summer apple has eluded the grasp of humankind for far too long.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

The Granny Smith apple is the fourth best pie apple.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

One of the few traits that separate pigs from men is the ability to use multiple types of apple in a pie.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

@shitshowdotinfo You have honor and class.

[Apple Rankings @AppleRankings]

WILD TWIST APPLE (Final Score: 81) - The review of the salacious newcomer, The Wild Twist apple. A cross between two apple legends: The Honeycrisp and Pink Lady.
https://t.co/ZHwgI4KQlV
#WildTwist #Apples #AppleRankings