Armin Schwaiger

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

If you find me dead after tweeting & driving, please hit SEND to get that final thought out there http://t.co/MFXBJNd5

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

http://t.co/SWAJEWEZ Don't judge a German tourist until you've walked a mile in his socks/sandals combo.

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

http://t.co/dHtsdtWe Editors at fashion magazines, you're doing a great job. Women continue to hate their bodies.

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

http://t.co/nCCRlJmR Objects on twitter may appear funnier than they are.

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

Oh stop it! I'm not superficial. I'm just ficial. http://t.co/hHRg3hfE

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

:oscopy - How I abbreviate colonoscopy. http://t.co/60l2Ns5R

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

http://t.co/hHRg3hfE It's not fair to blame Pizza Hut for my weight gain. It was more of a Domino effect.

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

http://t.co/HNyNaPhR If a Butterfinger doesn't list butter as an ingredient, then is it all just finger?

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

Condoleeza Rice went by Condoleeza Couscous in college. http://t.co/wRauhMBO

[Armin Schwaiger @armin_mc]

http://t.co/AtlDPVQA Can't believe I'm not invited to things I'd never go to