Darth Vader

Dark Lord of the Sith, Advice Columnist, Galactic Pimp.

I am the evil alter ego of @GuyAdvisor

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Two Death Stars destroyed by Rebel scum, and one because Tarkin left the iron on. #DarkSideProblems

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Tell your mom to have Bib Fortuna pilot her desert skiff past the Sarlacc to my place before Leia chokes her out.

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

.@ariabrisard [respirator] [respirator] [respirator] [respirator] Come here often?

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

All the girlies say I'm pretty fried for a Je-di

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Oh... Look at that. You have a head. Huh. RT @deathstarhr: Um Boss my eyes are up here. And your "twin suns" went nova on Mustafar.

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

@deathstarhr [respirator] [respirator] [respirator] [respirator] [respirator] [respirator] Doesn't it accentuate my... twin suns?

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

What do you mean my codpiece is "so 1978?"

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

@badrockr Awesome.

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Star Wars Fact: The Sarlacc is based on Rosie O'Donnell's vagina, only smaller and far less frightening than the real thing

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Awesome! ~ RT @RandomDonk: AskVader says "drink up, and show me ur faith" http://t.co/Nj5lQ94J

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Impressive... Most Impressive. Fantastic! ~ RT @abandagediris: Lifening. #marajade @theMaraJade http://t.co/nw3CEq3V

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Cruisin
To ice planet Hoth
Son kept warm
In belly of a Taun-Taun
Rebel Problem? I'll solve it
Rebels beat as Empire assaults em
Ice Ice Baby

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

@ariabrisard Bam. Who doesn't love a good helmet polishing?

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

@abandagediris Impressive. Most impressive. I'm going this weekend.

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

@dsbartender I picked up a few Twi'lek hookers and the next thing I knew, it was February.

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

@dsbartender Never underestimate the dark side of the tweet. I have been well, thanks.

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

That's because Palpatine makes the admin staff the bottom 1% of the 99% RT @deathstarhr: In other news I am getting a refund this year.

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

I do. I've got a built-in beatbox. RT @elmirasfk: Just wondering what Bieber inspires people to do. I mean who wants to be the next bieber?

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

Dear Fans,

Please do see EP1 in 3D in theatres. I only suggest that you refrain from ridiculing my childhood performance. For your own good

[Darth Vader @AskVader]

@deathstarhr Nooooooooooooooooo! You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy as the Imperial Revenue Service.

[respirator]