benallen

[benallen @benallen]

All mine!

[benallen @benallen]

#Twitterversary

[benallen @benallen]

If an infinite number of monkeys played an infinite number of football games, not a single one of them would hit a home run. #mindboggle

[benallen @benallen]

Perfect night to kick back and watch an app on my Qwikster

[benallen @benallen]

My klout score rises each time someone mistakenly @ mentions me. I'm influential primarily by accident!

[Ben Allen @Ben_Allen_]

@benallen @benallen_ ben_allen your all cunts for nicking the username I want!!!! Get ya own fucking name!!!

[benallen @benallen]

Got hacked, need to change password from #dontfakethefunkonanastydunk

[benallen @benallen]

It has been a banner football season for pickup trucks, and it's been even better for #pickupcommercials. Think the Ford boys win this round

[benallen @benallen]

Hate to say it, but that Hawks game last night felt full of make-up calls for the terrible Super Bowl officiating.

[benallen @benallen]

With all this TSA banter, real news stories are going uncovered. Like did you see where Nissan has put a turbo engine into a sport-cross??

[benallen @benallen]

We have a new leader in the clubhouse! These new F150s have Variable Cam Timing and Direct Injection. Show me ANYONE else offering that.

[benallen @benallen]

Been doing the math and STILL can't figure out how Dodge crammed both a Hemi engine AND an Allison transmission into those trucks. Help?

[benallen @benallen]

Who is Thomas Kinkade if not the true Painter of Light? Trust in Him and His incandescent paintings.

[benallen @benallen]

Guess who just showed up THE BLUE F'ING ANGELS THAT'S WHO

[benallen @benallen]

A friend who can't take a surprise stomach punch as the joke it's meant to be is hardly a friend at all.

[benallen @benallen]

If U-R girl can't handle you at your rip-roaring worst, she don't deserve u at your normal/best. Please pass along to 5+ loved ones

[benallen @benallen]

The Bedrock yellow, orange, purple, lime and red. But to get the fruity taste, I gotta trick Fred.

[benallen @benallen]

I've created, I've created, I've created, I've created, I've created, I've created my own prisssssooOOOOoooonnnnn

[benallen @benallen]

I briefly added a couple celebrity tweeters, but all they do is retweet, reference inside jokes, and link to bullshit. Pretty lame stuff.

[benallen @benallen]

I'm glad you guys clicked through, despite my disguising of the URL in the shadiest possible way. This is fun: http://www.shadyurl.com/