I don’t know who will read this. It’s stupid. And it might just be false hope. But I took the day off from work, gave and threw away most of my belongings, tidied my room, wrote a parting letter, and was a hair breadth’s away from cutting myself off from the world. Yet my cowardice wouldn’t let me approach the noose.
In an attempt to prolong the inevitable as much as possible I looked for any excuse that I could muster. Then I remembered this movie that I wanted to watch ever since I saw the clips a few days ago and decided to see it as one last memory before my departure. And now, after almost two and a half hours, I’m sobbing in shock and disbelief that a mere movie stopped me from killing myself. It’s probably just my mind grasping at straws, maybe an idiotic rationalization of going for one more attempt at life despite feeling like everything crumbling around me, or simply just my fear of looking death in the eyes even with the resolve to end all the suffering. But it made me realize there are so many more things I want to do, to see, to feel, and I want to experience all of that before pulling the plug. It won’t be easy, and perhaps all of this is just momentary, but I’ll do my best to fight for my own happy ending as well. And this time I’ll try to rely more on the people around me. This time I won’t run away.
If anyone who worked on the movie reads this, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. For creating this beautiful work of art and for saving my life. I wish anyone who comes across this post happiness and a life full of blessing. May a kinder future greet us.
#CosmicPrincessKaguya #超かぐや姫
Both jp and en version of starry sea are GODLY esp the movie ver with the a capella intro 😭😭😭 I just realized the meaning after a rewatch and it’s making me cry even more #CosmicPrincessKaguya