Ben Trovato

Columnist and author of thirteen books. Hasn't seen a royalty cheque in years. Lives alone with two regrets and a hangover.

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

I blame Leon Schreiber. Damn his selfish eyes, bringing the unwanted ways of the white man to one of our least efficient departments. https://t.co/1c8E3xw9aa

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

Mitch McConnell – Schrödinger’s Senator

[Boze Herrington, Library Owl 😴🧙‍♀️ @SketchesbyBoze]

By far the funniest moment in Homer’s Odyssey is when Circe says, “Shall we have sex?” and Odysseus says, “You just turned all my men into pigs. You have the GALL to think I would sleep with you? Of course I will. Absolutely. But don’t do any weird spells”

[𝚓𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚢 @202accepted]

i once watched a guy at his birthday party buy this, straight up cook it well done by accident, then drop it down the stairs after stepping on his gf’s cats tail, then slip on the meat juice, then have his german shepard steal the wagyu, then while he laid there in defea, his roommate and coworker comes back late unaware he was throwing a birthday party announcing how everyone just got laid off and that the company they worked for was shutting down as he walked in the door

2018 was a time

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

@TheAbuyeReport @georgegalloway Is that the document drawn up by the Islamic Republic of Japan?

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

C'mon Brazil. Do it for the whales

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

R2000 to apply for a tourist visa extension and another R850 to send the outcome from Cape Town to Durban? @VFSGlobal is a rip-off @HomeAffairsSA @Leon_Schreib

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

Does this mean Woolies no longer sells bomber jackets?
https://t.co/21dKbdIVsF

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

No matter how bad things get, at least we don’t live in America. Given the choice between a Clicks card and a Green Card, don’t bother looking for me at the airport. I’ll be at the self-medication counter.

[Pierre de Vos ⚖️ @pierredevos]

🔒Calls to boycott Dis-Chem have erupted after a major pro-Israel & genocide-denying shareholder, Mark Saltzman, uses sexist slur against Redi Tlhabi in attack linked to her support for Palestinian freedom and humanity. https://t.co/spEVOTrXwQ via @news24

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

The Vatican is two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

Jou ma se mola

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

Can't believe I'm retweeting Tucker Carlson, but since we're already down the rabbit hole...

[Tucker Carlson @TuckerCarlson]

As the US is dragged into another foreign war, it's worth knowing about the man who forced us into it. Watch the film so revealing that it's banned in Israel. The Bibi Files streaming now on TCN.

[Julian Dorey @juliandorey]

the judi dench cameo fucking sent me 🤣😭

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

Schrödinger's Strait

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

With any luck, Netanyahu's death will be announced just before happy hour

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

@DaveJon63336865 Real Cape Town men don't wear cologne

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

There's just enough water left in Joburg for the government to wash its hands of the crisis.

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words can never hurt you. So what the fuck good are words? If you can get a visa to America, go. Pick up all the sticks and stones and break some of those fucking fascist bones.

[Ben Trovato @BTrovato]

https://t.co/yWKiqQDmfi