Claire E. Aubin?

"A scholar and a hater" - The Guardian • Historian @Yale • Host of This Guy Sucked • opinions my own

rep: Connor Brown @nurnberg_agency

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

I’ve been hinting about my current project for a while, and am so excited to (finally) announce it!

I’m writing FALSE IDOLS: HOW GREAT MAN HISTORY LEFT OUR PAST IN RUINS with @BasicBooks. Truly a dream come true, and I can’t wait for you all to read it.

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

Texting my dad, who has lived in California for 70 years, for a good bear meat recipe as we speak

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

I’m truly loving the part where she implies in the comments that eating copious amounts of bear meat is just a normal thing Californians do to get by

[Julie_married_to_Thomas_but_not_a_Thomist @gmk_julie]

Consider this a Matriarch Monday challenge.

Imagine your husband calls and says he's bringing home 30 people for dinner in 1 hour. What do you have at your disposal that you could feed that many people with in that short amount of time. (now if you follow the comments thread he admits the pizzas actually do take much longer and they have a grocery store 2 minutes away that they utilize for needed ingredients, but lets pretend we don't have that luxury) What could YOU, dear sister, scrounge together to feed a crowd in an hour flat?

As someone who feeds crowds of 30 or more pretty regularly and who has a husband who loves to invite folks over last minute here's what I came up with out of ingredients I had on hand.

60 minute Spaghetti and Meat Sauce with Garlic Bread for 30.

I have 4 stovetop burners and 4 large pots. I'd need them all plus the oven.

Supplies on hand:
1. I basically have a seemingly unlimited supply of ground bear meat so 2 gallon sized bags of that but regular old ground beef or venison would also do. Or turkey if you're weird that way.
2. 3 cheap Walmart tubes of beef chorizo
3. I have shelves full of pickled tomatoes from this summer's garden. If for some sad reason you didn't pickle tomatoes which is by far the most superior way to preserve them, you can use regular canned tomatoes instead.
4. 3 cans of tomato paste
5. 4 boxes of pasta: 1 angle hair, 1 spaghetti, 1 linguini, 1 fettuccini.
6. 1 bag of 16 French rolls rolls from Walmart (unfortunately I already used the other 8 for steak sandwiches for Sabbath dinner for our fam today after church. this btw is one of my favorite Walmart bargains at $5 for 2 dozen good sized rolls)

The Process:
1. The gallon zips of frozen bear meat each go into a large dutch oven on med-high heat.
2. Add to each a tube and a half of the beef chorizo (even tho we're cooking italian just trust me) and cover with lid.
3. 2 more large pots are filled with salted water to bring to a boil. Fettuccine will go in one followed by the linguine a minute or so later. Spaghetti will go in the other followed by the angel hair a minute or so later.
4. Pickled tomatoes are drained and then pureed right in the jars with emulsion blender.
5. French rolls are sliced in half, buttered, and sprinkled with TJ's garlic onion salt. These will go onto cookie sheets and baked till golden
6. Once the ground meat is cooked through (this will take up a good part of your hour since its frozen in such big chunks) you will add half of the pureed pickled tomatoes and a can and a half of tomato paste to each pot. Because you wisely pickled your tomatoes using the Russian method you will not need to add any other flavorings. If your canned tomatoes were done by some other method you're on your own making them taste good.
7. I happen to have enough plates to serve 30 guests spaghetti on but honestly the better receptacle with this meal would be mugs and/or cereal bowls since folks probably aren't all seated around a table.
8. Unlike @TheJollyBrawler I never in my life have had enough beer, soda, and cigars around for 30 people so we'll all just be having water and good breath after for kissing our spouses with.

The cost: < $2 per person

Ok ladies. Let's see what you can come up with. Creativity wins the day!

[lolt64🕵️ @lolt64]

My satirical woodcut of your station in life has taken the parish by storm

[Samuel Moyn 🔭 @samuelmoyn]

Please make it stop

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

@shpeef a woman of eclectic tastes!!

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

bon appetit

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

@Askcake1 This is so so kind of you, thank you so much ❤️

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

@waryenthusiast it’s soooo gorgeous

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

bummer about the growlers but I’m not gonna lie and pretend their music didn’t enormously impact me lol

[donald boat @laserboat999]

I like that the hobo sign for “Kind Lady Lives Here” is a cat

[Jake Romm @jake_romm]

your homunculus will never be ensouled bro, stop showing the pope your homonculus, he doesn't like it

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

(I deleted the tweet because it was my first public acknowledgment of the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I was scared and sad)

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

i’ve got one to add to the (enormous) pile if anybody wants it

[Michael Tracey @mtracey]

After identifying Jane Doe earlier tonight, I have now removed the information I published. Why? Because the principle has been served: to underscore that permanently anonymizing litigants who make sensational, spectacular, reputation-destroying claims about others -- so long as they can self-declare some form of victimization -- cannot be countenanced.

It's destructive, and an egregious abuse of the legal system by huckster plaintiff's lawyers. This practice has to end. Lawyers who seek to monetize this sleazy tactic should have to think A LOT HARDER about the claims they're willing to throw out into the public domain, using impressionable clients who may not even know what they're getting themselves into.

So why have I now removed her information?

Because I don't believe she's the main "villain" here. I primarily blame the bottom-feeding, media-manipulating, sleazebag lawyers who've made a whole cash-grab industry out of this racket.

Thomas Giuffra in particular has a lot to answer for. He's the central reason for the current debacle.

Given the intense nationwide and global interest in this case, I don't want to bring any further negative attention to this woman. I don't believe she ought to be punished or subjected to any retribution or humiliation. I believe a RATIONAL solution is necessary here. Not more character assassination -- of her, the seven young men, or anyone else. Truly, that is my genuine view.

I also recognize there are unique factors that must be taken into account given the hugely outsized publicity of this case.

So that's why I have removed the information. The aforementioned principle has been served: eroding the premise that anyone who claims any form of victimization is entitled to permanent anonymity, even as their lawyer(s) use the courts -- aided by a compliant media -- to name & shame others for the most heinous of crimes. No matter how lacking in credibility their own claims might be, or contradicted by mountains of other evidence.

That's all I ever sought to accomplish here. Not to impugn this young woman on a personal level. I have no animus toward her, and never have. I sincerely wish her the best, and hope her life is not defined by this calamity.

I completely stand by the accuracy of what I reported as to Jane Doe's identity. This is not a retraction -- it's an independent discretionary judgment I alone have made. No lawyers or anyone else have influenced this decision.

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

@MyMeatInUrBunz found one

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

I am so fucking sick of the freaks on this website doing cowardly “well actually check the reports, well actually she’s an unsympathetic narrator, well actually this is antifeminist” faux intellectual equivocating. These ppl would all joyfully step on a woman’s face if they could

[Liam Blutman @Blutman27]

A throwback picture of Holly the Duchess of Density and Backpack

Legends of the Game

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

@llassabe asked ben and he said “huh.”

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

there is a person who is literally obsessed with commenting on episodes of the pod about their fantasies of me drinking oat milk and i would love to know what’s going on there

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

i assume it’s a veganism allegation but it could also be a sort of sublimated fetish thing that the poster may not even be aware of

[Claire E. Aubin? @ceaubin]

they also very obviously dislike me in a normal misogynistic way (called me a raspy shrew and a clucking hen lol) but i am soooo curious about the oat milk