Clyde Ryder

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

I just found out that I'm color blind. The news came completely out of the green.

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

The self checkout was broken at the store so I had to have a lady checkout my groceries and she saw all the food I eat is candy 😔

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

The male pig puts everyone to sleep. You might say he’s quite a boar.

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

An angry bird landed on a doorknob. Then it flew off the handle.

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie? Because he was too far out, man.

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

Why does Waldo only wear striped shirts? He doesn’t want to be spotted.

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

A horse is a very stable animal.

[Clyde Ryder @clyderyder]

My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.