carter

@carter, half-jogging since the '70's. handle goes to the highest bidder. formerly @Atomico, @Skype, @Rdio, @aol, @icq, @betaworks, Cat Dad (“Don Gato”)

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This Ozempic isn’t working.

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Oftentimes, live music isn’t really necessary.

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@Uber in London is a free Time Machine ride to when things didn’t work.

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San Francisco is simultaneously dangerous and boring. Kind of like my second marriage.

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@lennysan Sports betting.

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@malthe This some serious “NPR Energy” up in here…

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Thank you Chat GPT - not just for giving VCs something to do in this market, but also for ensuring I’ll never have to talk directly to my second ex wife again!

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For the first time in my life I was offered soap.

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My name for this order? My name is “the only person in this store right now.” Thanks.

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@mycheeksarepuff She laysee

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@British_Airways your ostrich approach to helping people find the thousands of bags you lost at LHR this week is beyond shameful. I have been a loyal customer. I will now no longer fly BA. Shame on you.

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The only benefit of the blockchain is that people losing money is public.

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At this point in my life, all my haircuts look like they’ve been performed by a birthing canal.

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In Spain, one customer constitutes “a surge.”

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To “ser” or to “estar,” a lifelong quest #somethingrotten

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American tourists often make me think of how awesome it would be to sometimes not understand English.

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Birds are weird.

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Sipping an iced coffee is not a valid reason to put your phone on “speaker” mode.

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“I’ve recently installed blackout curtains...” must be the turning point of some twelve step journey.

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@mycheeksarepuff @allanyu_ How dare you abuse my trust and divulge my fashion secrets @allanyu_