CatholicComedy

Someone told me that Catholics aren't funny. We're here to prove them wrong.

Ridete!

Memento mori, memento ridere

Deus LOL Vult!

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

Here's a guide to help you Lent like a champion!

1) Whatever you do, do for Christ's glory not your own.

Practically, thay means don't boast or brag about what you've given up. Don't even mention it unless prompted. God knows what you do, that's enough.

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@victorlams It was 115

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

"I know, I'll take the kids to pizza for Sunday lunch! How expensive could pizza be?"

*looks at the bill*

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

Wife: Everyone get ready to go to Church!

*storm starts*

Me: I don't know if we'll be able to go in this storm.

Wife: Well, make a decision.

Me: It's not up to me, it's up to God.

*storm suddenly breaks, sun shining*

Me: Guess that's that.

[The Catholic Pipe Company @CatholicPipeCo]

It’s time.
Time to ditch your heathen pipes.
Time to upgrade your contemplative ritual.
Time to be the men you’re meant to be.
Pray on, soldiers. The kingdom calls.

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@atgarone I read this while eating two snowballs.

We are not the same.

[That Catholic Guy 🇻🇦 @Catholic_bro]

How I’m sleeping tonight knowing the papacy is 100% biblical.

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

Why don't I let my wife drive?

The last time she took the wheel, she drove erratically, got arrested, broke out, then we got hit by a train and went to Hell.

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@Strangeland_Elf This is why I never do anything, so this scenario doesn't happen

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@OVTweetmarck

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@TheBasedTrinity

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

Is this OK on a Friday?

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@FNguywthebeard @Strangeland_Elf They taste like normal chips, which I know from yesterday

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@TheBasedTrinity I feel like there's ambiguity here...

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@mtngrl4rome They're made of glory.

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@JaneLebak

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@JaneLebak I was making an allusion to a Veggie Tales song. You were supposed to say it's not a monkey

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@JaneLebak But it doesn't have a tail

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@catherinevfrank I guess I'll have to settle for these...

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@catherinevfrank They're CHIPS!

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@MargoCatholic Yeah, Muslims don't eat Starburst because they have gelatin which isn't halal.

[CatholicComedy @catholic_comedy]

@Strangeland_Elf So, I can eat these?