Cell Onion

Science so improbable it must be satire. EIC: Dunning Kruger; Assoc Editors: Reese Entgrad, Gnu Karsmel, Stuhl Sofner
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[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

A short history of CELL to commemorate the 20th anniversary of CELL Press acquisition by Elsevier!

"Commercial Exploitation of Laboratory Labor" was first published in 1976. The name was shortened to its acronym CELL in 1988, after which it was purchased by Elsevier in 1999.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@RrrPeeSRC @prewittse @CharlesMBrenner Dave leverages his Harvard appointment to become the expert to the non-expert. Harvard is ok with this because he brings in money. Dave offers rich people the one thing they want but don’t have - immortality.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@OxygenIvan @mumumouse MuMu Mouse is becoming a problem.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

📢Bored with science? Tired of getting desk rejections? Do you want to be the one doling out desk rejections? If answers are yes, yes, & yes. Cell Metabolism is hiring! Full-time editor wanted in our THREE China offices. Please reach around! https://t.co/6a5639FDhK
RT

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

📢Bored with science? Tired of getting desk rejections? Do you want to be the one doling out desk rejections? If answers are yes, yes, & yes. Cell Metabolism is hiring! Full-time editor wanted in our THREE China offices. Please reach around! https://t.co/6a5639FDhK
RT

[Rachel Perry @RachelPerryLab1]

The Yale MMPC (Mouse Metabolic Phenotyping Center)–Live is recruiting external advisors from historically marginalized backgrounds – please see the flyer and consider joining us!

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@mumumouse2 We had agreed that @ElsevierConnect was off limits!

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@gastrulateordie @jbwallingford Both bale and bail conjure up visions of what people have threatened to do to us.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

As more researchers bale on science to become professional editors the question arises how many professional editors do we really need? Many argue they are not needed at all.
https://t.co/8hrDogqDWH

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@jbwallingford We are professional editors. Just not very good ones.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

As more researchers bale on science to become professional editors the question arises how many professional editors do we really need? Many argue they are not needed at all.
https://t.co/8hrDogqDWH

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@MoralOverdraft Absolutely. We are vital to the scientific enterprise.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

We apologize if our staggeringly high publication costs place a hardship on laboratories.

[Andrew J. Lutkewitte @AJLutkewitte]

There would be a lot more money for Grad students if journals didn't charge ridiculous publication fees and have massive paywalls. $12k for open access!

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@mumumouse2 These authors used a program our own Stuhl Sofner developed called "e unum pluribus" - out of one, many. E unum pluribus eliminates biological and analytical variation in silico by copying one cell and pasting it over many.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@metapredict @JamilCellTech @OxygenIvan Not fraud. If earlier papers weren't published in our journals they don't really count.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@metapredict @JamilCellTech @OxygenIvan This repository is a great resource for scientists. If a scientist generates data consistent with the repository then it can be cited. If a scientist's data is inconsistent with the repository, well its only 5 rats and you can discard it.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@mumumouse2 Bad decision. You underestimate our global reach. The Bowling Green Massacre started when someone accused us of image manipulation.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@mumumouse2 Don’t mess with Cell Press! ✋😠

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@RetractionWatch 98% of all papers Elsevier publishes are "decoy manuscripts" to keep you away from our flagship Cell Press journals.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@mumumouse2 @PLOSONE MuMu you do know that Elsevier publishes PLOS journals are decoys to keep predators like you away from our flagship journal Cell Onion.

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@mumumouse2 We guess you're proud of yourself MuMu.🖤👿

[Cell Onion @Cell_Onion]

@addictedtoigno1 Congratulations. Our editors were named to the list of least influential.