Chris Lao

[The Onion @TheOnion]

'The Goonies' falls short of greatness by failing to include the line "Friendship is a treasure worth more than gold" http://t.co/IedpKeKdIN

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

Happy birthday Jill! Get it girl!!! @Jillandkate

[Seth Meyers @sethmeyers]

After years of begging Fred and Carrie finally let me be in an episode of @portlandia. Don't miss it tonight 10PM ET!

[Chicago White Sox @whitesox]

#WhiteSox will honor Paul Konerko on May 23 by retiring his No. 14 jersey before the game (3:10 p.m. first pitch).

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

@hayessay I'm following @Jillandkate on twitter and Instagram now!

[Chicago White Sox @whitesox]

Join us in congratulating Frank Thomas on his election into the #HallofFame. Way to go, @TheBigHurt_35! #BigHurtHOF

[Chicago White Sox @whitesox]

BREAKING: #WhiteSox legend Frank Thomas (@TheBigHurt_35) has been elected into the @BaseballHall! #BigHurtHOF

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

@chicagobulls is there a special giveaway for Thursday's game?

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

Got choked up watching #TheWalkingDead. #Andrea.

[Grantland @Grantland33]

The NBA finally arrives in Manila, 80 years after the love of the game, by @rafeboogs http://t.co/2yZVwjZeuP

[Grantland @Grantland33]

Russell Westbrook is a Ke$ha fan! http://t.co/Cxi8Z39m

[Cara Santa Maria @CaraSantaMaria]

Science at the @FieldMuseum faces a real, lasting threat http://t.co/P6WwxARw via @Laelaps

[Rachel Lichtman @rachelichtman]

Alternate spellings of Chanukah include Hanukah, Hanukkah, Chanukkah, Chakakhan, Hankkingsley, Channingtatum, and Sharkweek.

[Jimmy Fallon @jimmyfallon]

First Drafts of Rock: "Old Time Rock & Roll" by Bob Seger: http://t.co/37uA8hkH #latenight

[Alton Brown @altonbrown]

November 18. That's all I'm saying.

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

@writerboyESPN who do you like for the rest of the year in a PPR, Fred Davis or Brent Celek?

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

@MatthewBerryTMR who do you like for the rest of the year in a PPR, Fred Davis or Brent Celek?

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

@MatthewBerryTMR who do you like for the rest of the year, Fred Davis or Brent Celek?

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

@writerboyESPN who is better to own for the rest of the year, Fred Davis or Brent Celek?

[Chris Lao @christopherlao]

@nflnetwork #quadboxsighting http://t.co/U8IlDUwh