Beth Wales

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Never underestimate a dog's ability to make your bedroom smell like farts and bull penis.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

My only qualm with reading books that are supposed to be set in the south is not one narrator can ever say the word Appalachian right. This is your tail. You definitely are not from there. Just stop.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

When I made my morning cup of yerba mate this morning I realized there was a moth in it. I'm considering that a good luck omen and drinking it anyway.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Everyday there is at least one person who makes me glad I didn't procreate. Toddlers are the reason hamsters eat their young.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

@elizabethcourtn Good work!

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Guess, let me put this in a way you can understand. We typically want to see your dick pics about as much as you want a used tampon pic from us.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

It takes a special person to play a harmonica they find on the store at a thift store.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Chicken is the tofu of the meat world.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

I am 40 years old. It is high time people stop calling me girl. Yes, I look young. No, I am not a child.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Is getting annoyed with her real estate agent.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

is over it...

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Is smiling like the Cheshire cat.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Wishing I had all the answers but finding none

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

always wonders whats next...

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

is just...done.

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

I like square butts and I cannot lie!

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Is so sick of snow!

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Can't wait to wear her new belly dancing stuff!

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Needs a nap

[Beth Wales @cruelmistress]

Is happy as a clam, dyeing her hair.