´

[Paris Saint-Germain @PSG_inside]

🏆 BACK 2 BACK 🏆

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨 BREAKING: José Mourinho back to Real Madrid, HERE WE GO! 💣🤍

All terms have been verbally agreed between José Mourinho and Real Madrid, waiting to sign all documents.

Plan for initial two year deal, JM to travel to Madrid after Real-Bilbao game.

The Special One is back.

[Fabrizio Romano @FabrizioRomano]

🚨 BREAKING: Xabi Alonso has accepted to become Chelsea next manager, HERE WE GO! 🔵🔜

The agreement is set to be completed.

#CFC prepare official announcement for the upcoming days, but Xabi said YES. 💣

[Orvo ☭☰ @MechaOrvo]

BREAKING: White smoke in Tel Aviv indicates that Israel has chosen a new OnlyFans CEO

[Null @Vhoyde]

I can't stop thinking about the IG whores stuck in Dubai.

[Jason Hickel @jasonhickel]

Bombing Iran in the middle of negotiations, while starving Cuba, while genociding Palestinians, while threatening to invade Greenland… the US and Israel are the single greatest threat to humanity and it’s not even close. We are all forced to live in the nightmare they create.

[Dong Nguyen @dongatory]

I am sorry 'Flappy Bird' users, 22 hours from now, I will take 'Flappy Bird' down. I cannot take this anymore.

[Matthias Schmidt @eurofounder]

My wife woke up yesterday jumping from excitement

She just received a job offer from Google

"Babe, they want to pay me $300k, $100k base plus $200k in stock options" she said

I sat down and held her hand

"Sweetheart, that means they are offering you just $100k"

"No look, it says total compensation is $300k"

I gently closed her laptop

"Stock options are imaginary money, it's a well known American scam, it's not real" I said

"But I could just sell them for cash?" she asked

I tried not to laugh, women can be so naive sometimes

"That's not how stocks work. Who told you this?"

She said her recruiter explained it

I sighed. Of course. An American filled her head with nonsense

"Baby, American stocks are worthless, it's imaginary shares from an imaginary company"

"But it's such a good offer" she started crying

"I know, baby" I hugged her, and right there I knew I needed to act

It's my job as a husband to shield her from American predators

Later I emailed the recruiter and declined on her behalf

I explained that my wife is not interested in fantasy compensation from a failing company

We are European. We don't fall for American tricks

She will keep her job at SAP making €43,000 a year, which puts her above most women in Germany

Feels good knowing I protected our future

[´ @cryptocuckold]

@fiago7 @grok answer

[´ @cryptocuckold]

Eubank eating these feints like a child in famine #EubankBenn2

[´ @cryptocuckold]

Benn by first round knockout unfortunately #EubankBenn2

[´ @cryptocuckold]

As a body language expert, based solely on the walkouts, Benn beats Eubank and Eubank Sr goes on a coke bender after the fight

[´ @cryptocuckold]

Eubank Sr railing the coke as we speak

[´ @cryptocuckold]

Hate these fucking ring walks

[´ @cryptocuckold]

@stevewilldoit Btc

This can change my life and my family’s life too

[´ @cryptocuckold]

@Juliborio3 @AdinHaykin1 Lmao fr caralho

[UFC @ufc]

🚨 TOM ASPINALL IS THE OFFICIAL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP

@DanaWhite has announced that Jon Jones has RETIRED, thus elevating @AspinallMMA to become the heavyweight champ 🏆

[Nicholas J. Fuentes @NickJFuentes]

When Iran attacks an Israeli hospital with ballistic missiles, remember that Israel is purposefully using civilian infrastructure as a human shield so it’s really their fault.

I hate that Israel is forcing Iran to destroy its hospitals 🥀💔

[Cash Money @_1solarium]

Missed your chance brochacho