daveykakes

I try to be funny, sometimes I am, and sometimes I make people shift in there chairs to uncomfortable silence.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

They Came Knocking was ok. The end was a little lack luster. But on a whole, it was worth the watch.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

I was told that a Juul shouldn't need to be charged three times a day. But then again, I've been told someone doesn't need to smoke two to three packs a day either.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

This video of Calypso Rose, Tim Armstrong and the Interuptors doing Amazing Grace is fucking nuts.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

@HectorCounty Fuck yeah man

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

@JarrettNez @ErickCostaxxx @adrianachechik @theNatalieMars @jonnidarkko @EvilAngelVideo I'm a wholesome Christian boi. And you tag me with pornographers. You sir, are a monster. But I'm going to look at the profiles. You know, to pray for them and stuff.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Some days, I feel Death is playing hard to get, with me.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

@yorbeautfl So much fun. Thank you for getting me on the show

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

If the multiverse is true, I'm glad to know there's a universe out there where I did it all correctly.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

@jgrave_s That's me

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

@AshtrayFloors That would be a hilarious twist.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Just found out there's a horror movie about recovering junkies. I hope emotions are the bad guy. Trust me, that's a better villain than some asshole in a mask.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Remember that time in 1999, when you first saw Idle Hands, then immediately went and tried to smoke nut meg and oregano?

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

If bi weekly pay and health insurance are your only incentives to get me to come to work, I'm going to do the bare minimum to keep that job.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Anybody else feel like 90s kids movies set you up for a life of failure? I mean I was never once handed a blank check, played professional baseball or stung to died from a swarm of bees.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Anytime I needed to cry this last month, I'd just listen to @FatMike_of_NOFX album, You're Welcome. Beats putting a cigarette out on my arm. Honestly probably the best album I've heard all year.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Say what you will about depression, but unlike my friends, at least it's still around.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

I can't believe Twitter can give me anxiety. God forbid I'm scrolling, I'm always scared I'm going to accidently like a tweet from somebody I despise.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Sometimes feeling lost has the freedom to let you find a new path in life. And sometimes that new path leads you right back to the comfort of a McDonald's, for chicken nuggets.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

Tammy and the T-Rex "gore cut" is coming out at the end of the year. It's the small things that make like worth living.

[daveykakes @daveykakes]

The only downfall of cutting people out of your life, the part where you have to get to know the new people you're going to do the same thing to later on.