Pussy Van Fagöt

hearing voices, but they’re telling me everything’s going to be alright

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

Solid past week

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@observe_observe @nazzobetweeting @cvntbehaviour It’s not their language anymore

Brits don’t even adhere to the phonetic transcription of their own language to a large degree, whereas the neutral American accent does

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@AlyssaLogic Men need a woman to *tell another man to tell them to actually do cardio or go to the doctor

When it comes to the mundanities of everyday life, men don’t like being told what to do by women just as much as women don’t like being told what to do by men

[The Spectator 🇺🇸 @TheSpectator]

I was mid-hip thrust when I found out @Shanemgillis had called me a whore. Technically I found out four hours later, when I reviewed the footage of Saturday Night Live. My tripod was on the bench, my ring light was clamped to the squat rack and my boyfriend Tanner was holding the back-up phone for the side angle. Tanner films all my content. He is not allowed to look at me.

The “joke” was about how women dress at the gym. I know it was about me, because everything is. So I did what any survivor would do. I went to my car and filmed myself crying. It took 11 takes, because the lighting in a Range Rover is unforgiving, and grief is no excuse for a bad shot. In the final cut, you can see a single tear land on my sports bra right over the logo, which clicks through to an affiliate link. My caption: “I’m literally shaking.”

Then I put on the shortest shorts I own, went back inside, and filmed my ass from three angles with the caption, “Does this outfit work for you, Shane Gillis?” I wanted to send him a message that my body is not for men. To make sure Shane got the message, I tagged him. Then I tagged every man I follow. Some people say my response proved his point. These people are rapists.

✍️ @BridgetPhetasy

Article: https://t.co/Wxs41eVnwh

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@britbane2024 It’s like this in America too

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@boobfan69420 Depends, are they attractive?

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@DrewPavlou Side note, is that fuckin James Franco?

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

They’ve actually convinced themselves they are fully engaged & immersed into every detail of their children’s social lives, rather than intuitively understanding that they only know so much as the deliberately curated details their child is willing to tell them, & also that a majority of the little they know is just placative half-truths anyways

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@artwithinpod “Every artist I like is actually the most intelligent, educated, & gumptious person in the entire world.

I definitely don’t think people are inherent reflections of their interests & preferences, I could never think such a thing, especially about myself.”

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@UncleBuckbroken Everything about these posts always feel so… Indian

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@JakeWally We really need an insulting term for this cadence lmao

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

Honestly man not bad at all, the noticeable differences between the start & end of the first year are super nominal for pretty much everyone who are first starting to lift

Keep up this regiment for one more year & you literally won’t recognize yourself at 2.5. All of the noticeable gains happen in the second year for everyone lifting natty

Also, whatever your split is, increase your total number of weekly sets for each muscle group by 20-25%

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@tigerlilysghost Extremely overproduced

Ideas & base concepts behind the visuals are not bad whatsoever, just comically overworked

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@goonerarmpits2 The average American highschool varsity football team could fend off a raid of Somali pirates with surplus ottoman WWI weaponry lmao

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@AlyssaLogic Absolutely

Being militantly hostile to the notion that wanting positive attention from the opposite sex is the primary motivator for certain pertinent behaviors, although, certainly is

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@Finnegan1435321 Is this an old tweet from 2012?

Where have you been my guy?

[BENZO-KAZOOIE @BENZOTOOIE]

I am an absolutely humorless, miserable, finger-wagging, hall-monitoring, buzz-killing, cynical, schoolmarmy, Lisa Simpson-esque HR lady wet blanket and here are my thoughts on comedy,

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@hannaahhn Of course, a significant portion of women are militantly hostile to this notion though, despite it being obviously true

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@Paradox80music @TheOnlyDSC Can you feel my heart — bring me the horizon

[Pussy Van Fagöt @doctor_penis_]

@WurzelRoot Well well well

Guess who just got kicked out of the gym for… you guessed it… being a whore

*pulls up my painted on spandex even further into my gigantic horse pussy fupa*