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I'm a kid.

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https://t.co/ZLrxQ66oKv

UMKC alumni! If you don't already use UMKC's career network, I highly recommend. Also, if you set up an account, get entered to win some moolah. #paidadvertising

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Notable developments since my last tweet: married life is awesome, yes I'm still in school, and I'm as slow at writing papers as ever! (Literally reviving an old social media account instead of finishing a paper. why)

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My first tweet in 2 years! Inspired by 1. @OhHeyDuh s observation that my username should now be "ear", and 2. school being cancelled!

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I'm getting married on Saturday and I pet a puppy this morning so you know life is about at 100% right now.

[Louis Peitzman @LouisPeitzman]

For breakfast: cold stuffing, eaten with my fingers from a plastic bag, with a side of deep shame.

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@shanepardue saddest story ever.

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Kind of ironic that the class that reduced me to tears the first week of school is the class I'm doing the best in and enjoying the most now

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A well placed fart is still the greatest joke ever.

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Eating a cheeseburger in front of a bunch of kids training for soccer and it feels right.

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Y'all, I just fell asleep at the pool and woke up to one of those muscle spasms and drool. #tooturnt

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I've had the same coffee splatter spot on my phone screen for two days and I still feel too lazy to wipe it off.

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Just a friendly reminder to my fellow baristas out there: You're in the service industry.

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@DianaParDue police car pillow for proper cheek support

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@DianaParDue Avery!!!

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@DianaParDue oh buddy! Such a tender heart

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Nephew #3 is in the world! Auntie status: Intermediate.

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PSA: that marathon on ward parkway is happening this morning. Reroute all your plans.

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Living in a den of brown recluses and the only way I know how to cope is by using curse words.

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@shanepardue thank you!