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Now the match is over, we're running extra services from the MCG to help all of you interstate cunts fuck off back home.
Thanks and bye.
#MetroTrains#AFLGF2026
Good: Football fans from two different states coming to experience our great city and all it has to offer.
Better: Double the opportunity to fine out-of-state visitors who don't understand how Myki works.
#MetroTrains
Good morning Melbourne!
We're running additional services to get you to/from the Kylie Minogue concert at the MCG this afternoon. You might even want to stick around for some ball game that's happening too.
#MetroTrains
Throwback Thursday!
This Weston Langford pic shows Upfield Station as it appeared in 1959.
At the time the surrounding area was a desolate wasteland.
Today, it's much the same, just with more kebab shops.
#MetroTrains#ThrowbackThursday
Metro 5.30pm Update:
All lines running well with no delays or cancellations.
If someone on a train could have a massive heart attack or something right now and cause a delay we’d really appreciate it.
#MetroTrains
Throwback Thursday!
This c1980 GEHS pic shows the gatekeeper's hut near Glenhuntly.
At a time where level crossing gates were manually operated, these huts provided not only shelter for gatekeepers, but a place for a cheeky wank between trains.
#MetroTrains#ThrowbackThursday
Good morning Melbourne!
Extensive delays and cancellations may be experienced across the network as we upgrade our fleet to trainOS 27.
Your patience is appreciated.
#MetroTrains
Throwback Thursday!
This Sept 1984 pic (photog unkwn) shows an ex-Port Melbourne Hitachi set crossing Sandridge Bridge.
Today, this line is serviced by trams. Which are stinky, extremely slow and generally great at sucking arse. Fuck trams.
#MetroTrains#ThrowbackThursday
We’re pleased to announce the new Myki Duo - a compact Myki that folds out in two.
Available in black or white and starting at $3,499, it does everything the current Myki does but screams “I bought this because I’m a massive wanker!”
#MetroTrains
Going serious here.
This is a completely fucking bullshit cunt response from Metro Trains.
Multiple safety protocols failed.
Don't fucking lowkey victim-blame, deflect responsibility and say you'll "conduct a review". Fucking hell.
#MetroTrains
https://t.co/26OiDAa8I9
Throwback Thursday!
This Aug 1983 NSW Archives pic shows the launch of the inaugural Sydney-Canberra XPT service.
Yep, we're going with this: someone got so excited they ejaculated over the front of the train.
#MetroTrains#ThrowbackThursday
The Victorian Liberal Party have today stated they will build 25 hybrid trains to service western lines if elected in November.
We can only assume they mean something like this.
#MetroTrains
Good morning Melbourne!
Due to industrial action buses will replace trains Dandenong-Cranbourne and Watergardens-Sunbury until further notice.
We see this as bonus outdoor time! Fresh air, traffic views and a chance to really sit with your thoughts.
#MetroTrains
Throwback Thursday!
This April 1976 Peter Vincent pic shows a Harris set departing Flinders Street.
See how nice the area was before someone built a shitty concrete square over the top of it?
#MetroTrains#ThrowbackThursday