Fred Hogge

Typist & martini mixer, writing about ice.

I think I own a dog but I realise it's the other way around.

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@lickedspoon Make it, Deb!

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@nakedjam Eggsellent!!!!

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

I love an egg, I really do. But there are some mornings when they just sit on the plate and look at you funny.

[Catherine Mayer @catherine_mayer]

Don’t remember him. Remember them.

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@lickedspoon @ThanePrince My words exactly.

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@ThanePrince @lickedspoon I have about 40 hours to go.

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@ThanePrince @lickedspoon You and me need to find some experts, Thane…

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@ThanePrince @lickedspoon Some sort of a handy field guide written by experts…

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@leavingrichmond As I am to hearing it, buddy!

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@ericeatsout That explains everything…

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

Sorry for being a bit slow to this one, but Hurricane Eta? Are they naming the damned things after terrorist organisations now? Will it be Hurricane Farc next?

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@beeeze It is.

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

The cake... https://t.co/gVWNwGQnSo

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

One fo you @taniakindersley

[Dick King-Smith HQ @DickKingSmith]

What IS the braking distance of an unladen but furious tiny pony on wet concrete at 30MPH, I hear you cry?

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@curlywurlyfi @lucyinglis @kplunketthogge Really? Jolly good.

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

@Henriettagraham Exactly, the things are so strong they could use them to make a new space shuttle.

[Fred Hogge @fredhogge]

Okay, so here's as question for the ages: why is it that the eyebrows hairs that've turned white INSIST on growing straight out from the face instead of following the rest of the eyebrow in its predesignated direction? Answers on a postcard to W12 8QT.