dirty mike

I just chutneyed my jargos.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@eBay Yeah that’s dogshit advice, thanks. Already spoke to an agent. They have no idea what they’re talking about and aren’t allowed to share details of why my listing was pulled or why my appeal was denied. Your “specialists” are clearly using shitty criteria.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@eBay my watch listings keep getting flagged as counterfeit, when you don’t have a single horologist on staff, let alone anyone who knows what they’re talking about. No appeal of mine has ever changed anything, despite having legitimate serial numbered, authentic watches.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@SenatorHassan You’re a fucking spineless loser and an embarrassment to NH and the nation. You won’t win anything from this move, you’re just CAVING.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@BoulderBurn @heart_ Literally none of this is true, you walnut.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@JuliaFurukawa can I just ask why you say your name on the radio as: “Julia Furu…………….kawa”?

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@Variety Hey @Variety aren’t you supposed to be like…fact checking any of this shit? Who’s paying you to try to redeem @amyschumer? Nobody’s taking the bait. She is a racist POS. Nobody hates her for being Jewish, they hate her for being in favor of genocide and then lying about it.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

I think if you look at “Curb Your Enthusiam” compared with “Bee Movie,” it’s pretty obvious that @JerrySeinfeld was never actually funny. “WhAt’S tHe DeAl wItH CoLlEge kIdS? AnD wHy dOn’t tHey SuPpoRt WaR pRofiTeEring oFf GenOcIdE?” Shut the fuck up and sit down, Jerry. You pedo.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@LindaMaeNot @TheStory_Time A true hero

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

This is a show I’m pitching, called GUN CHICKEN. That’s the whole pitch. Please contact me for inquiries.

@netflix @hulu @PrimeVideo @pattonoswalt @adultswim @timheidecker @ericwareheim @paulscheer @JuddApatow @DAVID_LYNCH @JimCameron @BarackObama @robdelaney @newtgingrich

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@G_Plans I cancelled my plan with you guys and I just got notified you charged me AGAIN. Somebody fucking fix this or I’m reporting you to the BBB.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

-paper condoms
-paper bungee cords
-paper motorcycle helmets

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

Other product ideas from the people who brought you paper straws:
-paper rain boots
-paper swim trunks
-paper canoes
-a piece of paper that when you open it it just says “fuck you, idiot” and then dissolves

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

Something you have to know about me is that I support you but I absolutely do not give a shit about your half marathon.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

I wish T-Swift would date a senator so the youth gave a fuck about political discourse. I don’t think the NFL needs to sell more jerseys.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

I dissociate in the shower and lose track of time, I explain to my wife, the police officers and my parents outside the bathroom.
“It’s been 3 days!” My wife pleads.
One of the cops bursts into tears.
My father punches a hole in the wall.

Send tweet.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@RobertIger You’re a bitch. Pay your workers.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@RobertIger @EvaLongoria @flaminhot Not proud enough to pay them I guess

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@RobertIger Fuck you, megalomaniac prick.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@deetydoc @Mary_J_Robbins @JoJoFromJerz Dude if he had 4x the equipment he needs it means his production had to be cut by 75%, which doesn’t bode well for a business, genius. It means the company is fucked.

[dirty mike @Fronzotron]

@leyawn 🤙