Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco

leftie Latino comedian/educator

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

The goal of capitalism is to make you pay for every moment and experience from the womb to the tomb,in perpetuity,on earth and through the known universe,with ads!

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

If I order a car, and it’s a Tesla, I always wish I canceled and found a new driver who felt agency and urgency behind the wheel

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

If you take a car and it’s a Tesla expect to get to your destination at least 10 minutes later than expected

[Sean Padraig McCarthy @SeanMcCarthyCom]

Distance from Beijing to Shanghai: 750 miles
Fastest you can get there on a train: 4.5 hours

Distance from NYC to Chicago: 790 miles
Fastest you can get there on a train: 19.5 hours

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

@idontcarebear Everyone calling out Cuomo on is billionaire constituents is “Zorhan”

[Cassándrā "Cassy" Coelho R.🪬 @IDontCareBear]

What a shit show… five minutes of chaos, screaming, and Cuomo babbling “This is Zorhran Mamdani.” “Tell Zorhran I said hello.” 💀 Yeah, that’ll fix New York’s mass exodus. 😂

[Seth Harp @sethharpesq]

Can't believe China wasted their money on this frivolous spectacle when they could have been trafficking guns to Sunni radicals in Syria, bombing fishermen in Venezuela, or shooting down missionary planes in Peru

[Jeet Heer @HeerJeet]

The GOP caved. The Dems caved. Wall Street caved. Big Law caved. The Ivy League universities caved. The GOJ and FBI caved. The media caved. At America's moment of crisis, the only ones who stood strong were the furries.

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

“Taken” was just a white fantasy about a black and brown reality. And the bad guys aren’t Albanians. They are incels wearing wraparound Oakley’s, masks, and working for the federal government

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

Valhalla probably smells like the seat cushion on a gamer’s chair

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

New age spirituality needs to adapt to the present moment. Less manifesting. More manifesto-ing

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

When we finish using
military hardware
in Afghanistan
and Iraq
US law enforcement
uses it here 🥰

You can thank
Lockheed Martin
Northrop Grumman
Boeing
RTX
for the drones
less lethal bullets
Kevlar vests
and
zip ties

What a time to see such fine craftsmanship up close

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

New Halal Cartels episode up
Talking about life in Cuba

https://t.co/40yPjVOqFm

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

New Halal Cartels episode
Cuba
A possible alternative reality and future possibility

https://t.co/mKPkR7jzPk

[Pod Damn America @PodDamnAmerica]

BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: this week's ep marks the first installment on our series on THE MAGONISTAS. Our friend @gabe_pacheco joins us to KICK THINGS OFF
https://t.co/QZ4OOHEr8z

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

New Halal Cartels episode with Sameer Naseem and guest Davidson Boswell

https://t.co/ZI0tAtDEdv

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

For no specific reason at all, recalling that time the US occupying force disbanded the entire Iraqi civil service in a process of “De-Ba'athification” and how well that turned out.

[Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco @gabe_pacheco]

Listening to a podcast
on JFK conspiracies
at my job at a US history museum
🎶 it’s like rain on your wedding day 🎶

[AdequateEmily (PRIDE MONTH EDITION) @AdequateEmily]

In my freshman year of film school, my media criticism prof showed us this video of a Sizzler promotional video, and I have never forgotten it. It’s been 7 years.