gabriel perez

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/xWA3fwYf9m The Bible is subtitled "Shit My God Says".

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/PXiPeW1wlN Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/1DFEoLi1Lo No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February. http://t.co/ji0Yjxy1XV

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/4MnyTBodM8 No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. http://t.co/U9Y1bNboWb

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/OvA6aRF8jt I bet when you go to hell they make you wear your hair like you did in 5th grade

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/cJ7slxDWDq

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? http://t.co/0uzJf0uUUR

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell. http://t.co/Rh1TNYmDBz

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/iqg0vGNTO7

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/53w31v70mO "I liked small butts. I was lying." - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/QAmAXF0YGb "I liked small butts. I was lying." - Sir Mix-A-Lot's teary deathbed confession

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/mAXhTKsjjd It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby. http://t.co/3d9OXH7tdX

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. http://t.co/Tr2uD1sXsp

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/JgOZovku2v

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/Cat0t7DtIr Some people are about as useful as the "r" in February.

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence? http://t.co/YUhn7JhztK

[gabriel perez @gabrielperez30]

http://t.co/CvmOf5QekM Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.