George Lam, Esq.

I invented the cordless shower head. It doesn't work.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

I didn't say I can bowl three hundred. I said I can bowl three hundreds.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

What do I do Friday nights? Adele. On Repeat.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

I just sneezed into my cat's food. Do you think he'll mind?

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

It's not that it wasn't memorable. It's just that I have problems remembering things that aren't memorable.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

I expected all the morbidly obese people. What I didn't expect, was all the socks with sandals. #Mandarin

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

Never thought I'd see someone eating lobster on a bus.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

How do they make the hand sanitizer smell so fucking good?

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

@UPS_Canada How do I leave negative feedback?

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

What really happens at a farmers' market?

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

Yes my investing strategy is YOLO.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

@AOC is so hot.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

I wish I was good enough at something to have a rival.

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

#SaturdayMorning

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

#StoriesToBelieveIn

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

#ThursdayThoughts

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

Wait, there are two Free Willy movies? How stupid does Willy need to be to get caught a second time? #SaturdayMorning

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

OMG. It's not "Variety is the rice of life"? #SaturdayThoughts

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

Me: Is it wrong to ask a girl out at a funeral?
Friend: Yes.
Me: Really? What if it's her funeral?
Friend: ...
#SeductiveSunday

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

How is it "all day breakfast" if it closes at 4pm? #SaturdayMorning

[George Lam, Esq. @georgelamb]

What are some good pornographic books? Asking for a friend. #BookWorm