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Being very very careful with your personal data, honest

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Fell asleep at my keyboard after the 2008 budget. Just woken up by current idiots in gov @-ing me. it's 2019 and Twitter is still going! Anything else happen?

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@tinnion - yes <s>our operatives</s> PC World engineers would love to see your lolcats as a break from looking for other "ev ...

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btw I think the best twitter coverage is @mickfealty - good ole slugger

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seems to be going pretty well so far. thank god for laphroaig and ibuprofen.

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ok, my bowels are completely empty and I've thrown up 3 times already. time for a quick bacon sandwich I think - anyone coming to Da House?

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phew - today's the day... (absolutely shitting myself) give.me.more.whiskey.

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@tinnion - no worries man. we knows how hard it is to get by when u iz a lazy bastard

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@tildesley - wot?!?! u are VAT registerd as a babysitter & u charge £5 - u must be sitting on a whole lot of babies - or is it babe-sittin'?

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@thecustomer - sorry missed u yesterday as i was <s>pissed</s> very busy yes the hair taxes will be as overly complex as we ...

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@jangles - I already know where u live thx

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@tildesley - I look forward to scrutinising your babysitting account with your next tax return

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@tinnion - tryed but got banned from paypal for "irregularities" - if u go private & pay for it urself, i'll pay you back when I can promise

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god these sums are hard - sorry, I've been away - it's not easy running the entire economy of the United Kingdom practically single-handed

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just in with a kebab - those nobby styles are killin' in this cold

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@technokitten - ok, going with beard tax - a tax on everyone who does'nt hav a beard

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also reconsiderin' hair tax now iv seen wot @amayfield & @lloyddavis look like irl

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walkin off dis hangova in st james's park - den over da Lion for a swiftie just im'd miliband - he's gone home da litew8

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lookin' at followers and thinkin' we may do well with a hair tax @toodlepip and @technokitten might have to move to Jersey

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@technokitten - http://tinyurl.com/27zt2d

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tryin' 2 think of good giveaways for March 12 - any ideas twittermates?