Hot Gay Dilf

constantly simping for my friends

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

me: "here's a new eldritch horror who might randomly attack you all"

the party: "daddy"

me: "what"

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

a player dropping 20 gold on a diamond is going to feel a lot less about it than someone who just spent several hundred, and a higher-level player with more money is going to care less about the cost when they have thousands of gold to their name.

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

magic has no way of knowing the actual market value of a material component, it's basing its casting on sentimentality and emotional connection

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

watching my partner build a curriculum for RA training because she "felt like it" that involves more thought than upper housing is capable of

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

you know it's a successful session of worldbuilding when you accidentally create fantasy eugenics 😎

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

I love the idea that summons from other planes are just their equivalent of a work call

like a fire elemental get summoned and tells their buddies "o shoot sorry I gotta take this" before disappearing

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

death saves are dumb

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

how to not be late to dnd:

1) join 3 hours early
2) forget that you did that, leave your desk to do something
3) oh fuck, you're 20 minutes late

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

writer's block? just delete everything! start fresh! time is fleeting!

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

I get that my Twitter name is hot gay dilf, but I post mainly dnd content

please consider the content I post before following me

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

one of my coworkers asked me about why I learned Python and I said "i was bored" bc i couldn't admit to him that it was because I hyperfixated on learning renpy for like a month so I could make a visual novel out of my current dnd campaign

bc how do you explain that to someone

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

tips to be a great DM:
Step 1) create cool characters
Step 2) give those characters a time limit before they 🪦, tell no one
Step 3) give your players time travel
Step 4) make the solution someone they fought in the past
Step 5) profit

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

broke: journey through the nine layers of hell to find a less evil demon to replace the evil demon in the chest of your one true love

woke: have brunch w/ the demons in charge of hell and make them fall in love with you

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

my worst trait as a dm is i keep making characters hotter than they need to be

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

gain the ability to blast your opponents with the flavors of summertime, only available at your local Toll Foods

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

it makes my heart happy every time it happens, tbh

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

me randomly during session: "amazing"

my players immediately after: "amaaaaazing"

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

I need to be either made out with or hit with a truck

either one will work

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

D&D pro tip:

give everyone some kind of functional agelessness so nobody has to confront the crushing realization that all of their friends will be dead before they reach their race's equivalent of 30

[Hot Gay Dilf @HotGayDiIf]

if someone were to send me $100 right now, I will make a dnd podcast with all of the players being people I've matched with on dating apps