CC:Indecision

See you in 2016! #ff @comedycentral

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Donald Trump says he'll decide about running for president early next year, and America decided ages ago it wouldn't vote for Donald Trump.

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Ebola czar Ron Klain used to be Joe Biden's chief of staff. Compared to that, controlling a virus should be easy.

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All this #fangate chatter just distracts from the real issues. What is Charlie Crist's fan's position on Obamacare?

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New poll: Only 42% of NJ voters have a favorable opinion of Chris Christie. The remaining 58% are still stuck in traffic.

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Happy Columbus Day! In other news, we totally just discovered this cool thing called Twitter.

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"Ebola is a serious threat to my health!" -An American watching cable news while eating another bucket of cheesy bacon poppers.

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It's unclear if Mitt Romney is running for president in 2016. Of course, sometimes it was unclear if he was running for president in 2012.

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The White House intruder made it farther inside than the Secret Service reported, AND he didn't even take off his shoes.

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Eric Holder is resigning. Now he'll have more time to spend with his mustache.

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Congress would love to debate military action against ISIS right now, but they've, uh, gotta wash their hair.

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President Obama's foreign policy approval rating has fallen to 34%. Time to send troops to support One Direction.

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"Seduction used to be an art," says Rush Limbaugh, a man who's been making sweet love to his own ego for years.

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This Thursday, Scotland could win independence from the UK. But it'll never free itself from the memory of Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

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Mark Sanford broke up with his girlfriend & wrote a 2300-word Facebook rant. Definitely still electable - for jr. high student council.

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Sarah Palin's family was reportedly involved in a drunken party scandal. Coincidentally, that's what got Sarah Palin on the 2008 ticket.

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Sat through Obama's speech. Where's our free U2 album?

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Washington DC: It's Never #NewDistrictMottos. Sigh. #NewStateMottos

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Obama's supposed to announce his ISIS strategy tonight. And if he still doesn't have one, he can just recap Sons of Anarchy.

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Obama in Estonia: "Ukraine needs more than words." So... a certain hand gesture aimed at Russia?

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Glenn Beck says Hillary Clinton will win in 2016. Sounds like somebody's angling for a VP nod!