ted

The teddy bear that came to life, the 1st Ted parody....I am not Ted (This is a parody account) Not in any way affiliated with the actor Ted.

[ted @itstalkingted]

I wonder if women in China complain that all guys are the same.

[ted @itstalkingted]

When your dog barks at night: Shit, there is someone out th- *dog stops barking* ...SHIT, THEY FUCKING KILLED MY DOG!

[ted @itstalkingted]

I already predicted Finding Nemo 2's commercial: They've lost him AGAIN...but this time ....IT'S....IN.....3D

[ted @itstalkingted]

''GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!'' Grandma Please, it's a 3D movie...

[ted @itstalkingted]

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason i have trust issues

[ted @itstalkingted]

Running up the stairs in fear because you feel an evil presence behind you.

[ted @itstalkingted]

The awkward moment when you pull your blankets up & punch yourself in the face.

[ted @itstalkingted]

Next time you're at a McDonald's Playplace and someone asks you, "Aww which one is yours?" Say, "I haven't picked one out yet..."

[ted @itstalkingted]

Who's this "Simon", and why should I do what he says?