When you hurt someone and maintain a relationship with that person, they may bring it up again. They may need more clarity. Even if you have apologized, they may bring it up. And when that happens, it is on YOU to be patient and have a discussion about it. If you hurt that person, it's not up to you to tell them when and how to heal. If you are truly sorry and care about them, you gotta deal with those uncomfortable feelings about how they're still hurting over something. These are the consequences of your actions.
My cancer support group leader once said something I'll never forget:
"Pay attention to who gets impatient with your healing."
At the time, I thought she was talking about recovery timelines.
She wasn't.
She was talking about people.
The friends who disappear when you're no longer fun.
The relatives who stop calling when the crisis becomes routine.
The partners who support you as long as it earns admiration from other people.
My husband was incredible during the dramatic parts.
Hospital visits. Fundraisers. Public support.
Everyone thought he was a saint.
But real character isn't revealed during the moments everyone sees.
It's revealed six months later.
When you're exhausted.
When nobody is watching.
When the applause is gone.
That's when he started leaving emotionally.
Not all at once.
Just little pieces at a time.