jason gillearn

comedian extraordinair. bad speller

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

some jokes. thx to JR and tom/seg

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

I’ll put a shirt on when Iggy Pop does. Until then leave me alone

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

You were born to be my baby and I was made to be your man. I wouldn’t even say this if I was Bon Jovi.

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

Big dick energy is big dyke energy minus the dildo

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

@adamraycomedy Haha

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

You do my podcast again and I’ll do your podcast again and we’ll talk about the same shit and retards will listen. Cool?

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

Idea: homeless student night

[KTLA @KTLA]

Nearly 300K California students are homeless, enough to fill 5 Dodger Stadiums: UCLA https://t.co/CHnMv7HOb3

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

If black people can say the N-word just because they’re black then I can say retard

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

Hollywood bowl Dolly Parton RIP

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

Using my wife’s sippy cup today. This is the first step of my gender transition

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

Lame Lame

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

His wife probably paid half

[USA TODAY @USATODAY]

Howie Mandel revealed he has paid for sexual services massage parlors while married, also raising eyebrows during a heated exchange with his daughter. https://t.co/InvM6toAVA

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

When they named the soft drink Squirt, didn’t they know squirt is cum? Or piss? Or whatever the fuck that shit is? I mean, do your research

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

Luckily, this was our 12 inch waterproof dildo, otherwise they’d be hearing from me!

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

It’s getting harder to stay positive. And then negative and then positive and then negative and then positive in that order

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

A lot of my jokes are stupid. Smart but stupid.

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

You mean attempted murder McDonald’s

[New York Post @nypost]

Vagrant accused of randomly stabbing NYC tourist at 'murder McDonald's' charged with attempted murder https://t.co/KvjjYA6dF9

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

This guy is alive. I want my money back.

[New York Post @nypost]

Harvard to pay $53M in suit over selling donated corpses on black market https://t.co/EmwYWUrMIq

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

Also injured was the zebra’s penis

[New York Post @nypost]

Hayden Panettiere was haunted by back pain from bizarre on-set accident with a zebra https://t.co/ypKVQ5qS4H

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

You mean his lawyers’ trust fund

[Los Angeles Times @latimes]

Nick Reiner renews demand for trust fund ahead of murder trial in parents' deaths https://t.co/IfK9I8lZVD

[jason gillearn @jasongillearn]

I’ve never been roasted as a comedian. Only as a husband every day by my wife. What a cunt