Jennie Johnson

Noted Expert

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Is there anything worse than when you’re washing your face and the water runs down your arms? No? Didn’t think so

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Me: *gets a bloody nose*

Emma: “mom maybe next time don’t pick your nose and get a tissue instead okay?”

😑

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

@KendraBenson4 Ugh mom come on

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

The amount of glitter and crumbs I vacuum up on a daily basis is truly astounding

[Dana Schwartz - on hiatus @DanaSchwartzzz]

lot of top tier vaccine scientists going to have a tough time with their independent research now that facebook is down

[Krister Johnson @KristerJohnson]

Alfredo Rivera is the greatest storyteller of our time.

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Evidence of the crime

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

“Emma, please stop feeding Franklin sand”

(one of the million things I never thought I’d have to clarify as a mom)

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Just trying to settle an important argument with @JohnsonBretA. Were Etnies shoes cool in middle/high school?

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Me: ok Emma time to get dressed
*gets out jeans and sweatshirt*

E: NO MOM I WANT REGULAR PANTS

Me: 🙄 *puts jeans away and gets leggings*

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

@KendraBenson4 😂 so dumb! Now I’m just like those patients who are obsessed with their eyedrop regimen

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

I can tell it’s Friday the 13th because my daughter gave me a giant corneal abrasion with a plastic dinosaur tail. And now I get to put in eye drops every two hours like a psychopath

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Me chilling with my stable vented patient all night 😎

[fly in mike pence's hair🏳️‍🌈 @flyinmikepence]

i’m so proud to be here on the debate stage 🥰

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

THERES A FLY ON HIS HEAD

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Mike Pence is gross

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

Between being a nurse and a mom, the amount of times I get to drink my coffee when it’s still hot is near zero. ☕️🥺😅

[Jennie Johnson @JennieDimples]

😔

[NPR Politics @nprpolitics]

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Champion Of Gender Equality, Dies At 87 https://t.co/V0b7oSFYPy