Jordan Stauber

Father. Husband. Son. Brother. Uncle. Cancer Survivor. Blessed with tremendous family and friends who make the daily grind worth every bit.

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Just a boy and his avocado guitar. Teddy's debut album "Extra Guac" set to be released this Spring with hit singles like:

"Rock Out With Your Guac Out"
"It's 5 O'Guac Somewhere"
"Avocadon't Get Me Started"
"In a While Guacodile"
and "You're Avocontrol"

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Just put it into an ETF that pays a conservative dividend and they will be set…

[Kalshi @Kalshi]

JUST IN: Berkshire Hathaway has enough cash to acquire nearly every company in the S&P 500

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Swiss. The Hammond Swiss.

[Attorney Sholdon Daniels @SholdonDaniels]

The Chicago Bears should do a complete rebrand, starting with a name change.

What should they change their name to?

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

It's strange how someone who was polling poorly entering the election and was in third on election night, is now overwhelmingly outpacing the incumbent and the leader on election night by over 10 point in these "drops."

People can see how that could possibly give the impression that some funny business may going on, right?

[Polymarket @Polymarket]

NEW: L.A. County adds another 58,558 votes in the mayor’s race, with Raman winning 40.16% of the batch — cutting Pratt’s second-place lead to just 7,494 votes.

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

If they just wanted to be treated like everyone else, why do they get pissed that someone didn’t wear a hat made specifically for a group of people?

Demanding a month of acknowledgment is actually the opposite of wanting to be treated like everyone else. No other group, that I’m aware of, demands special treatment

[Thomas Nestico @TJStats]

Blake Treinen is a devout believer in a God that teaches you to love everyone and treat others the way you want to be treated. He is a hypocritical bigot.

LGBTQ+ people deserve to be treated equally and with respect. People like Treinen are why Pride events are necessary.

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Mets gave him three quarters of a Billion $$. How can they expect him to hustle with all that cheese in his pocket…

[FanDuel Sportsbook @FDSportsbook]

Juan Soto, who is getting paid $765 MILLION over 15 years by the Mets, didn't hustle down the line 😳

via @LFGPads19 | #LGM

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

1.) It’s a Piña Colada
2.) It’s my wheelchair
3.) “Hey Dad, watch this!” -my son as he jumps in the pool

[Chris Boettcher @chrisboettcher9]

I have zero tolerance for dads who show up on vacation, immediately crack and cold one, and then spend hours observing the fun their kids are having from a chair instead of being a part of it.

You can choose numbness or you can choose to make memories. You don't get the time back.

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

@Illination35 @FlowsAndolini Plus other events at the stadium

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Hand to rim in 3 business days...

[GRB RAYS BASEBALL @GRBRays]

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that we need to send Rays alum Drake Baldwin to the All-Star Game in Philly...

Voting is OPEN for the 2026 All-Star Game...Vote up to 5x per day!

Tell your friends to #VoteDrake

🔗: https://t.co/DNPEWUQN9A

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Riding the what now?

[Tom Steyer @TomSteyer]

Good public transit is key for an affordable, walkable city. That's why I'm riding the D on election day. @metrolosangeles

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Don’t let Wander Franco see this

[dianna @runwildkian]

It’s a Young meet up at first base!

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Guy wants a bye to the World Series...

[Michael Hanna @MichaelMHanna]

Out of all the (stupid) playoff systems around, NCAA baseball is *by far* the dumbest.

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

@BarstoolBigCat Bad day to be a Burger…

[Leading Report @LeadingReport]

President Trump’s latest physical lists him at:

6’3”
238 lbs

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

Damn. And just when people were starting to like the guy…

[New York Post @nypost]

Lefty Senate candidate Graham Platner reportedly sexted numerous women on hookup app Kik - and wife flagged it to campaign https://t.co/3LJN7Yp5Ci

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

@QuantCoach @PGATOURSMartin Except when everyone in the mid-major team that wins in the regional bounces in the portal. Whole rosters are leaving now. Going to be the same again.

[SlackPacks @SlackPacks]

Aaron Rodgers at Lambeau one last time

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

@Wisconsin_fam @AdamSchefter Josh Jacobs

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

He’s seen 5 straight Nicolet Law ads…

…Hit him again

[Jordan Stauber @JordanStauber]

What until Pat hears about the Rangers, Diamondbacks, Blue Jays, Rays and Marlins…

[Pat Walker 🌨 @PatWalkerWX]

This glorified high school stadium doesn't even have grass! Don't get @PhilElsonPxP started.