Grace

I am a lovely person (lovingly awful)

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Does anyone else find it weird when governments make laws because they believe in a fictitious man in the sky? Isn’t one of the amendments “Freedom of Religion” but when you start making life changing laws because of your own cult like beliefs that’s ok? Interesting

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Does anyone else think that Pearl (the weird woman who has an interesting fascination with pleasing men but remains single because no man wants her because she’s not conventionally attractive or what they want) has a really grating voice?

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Job Title: Menace to Civilisation
Hours per Day: 24 hrs
Pay: Satisfaction

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

I kinda see male comedians like those men in movies who the camera pans to and they go “and he said that’s my wife” and the crowd he’s accumulated burst into laughter.

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

How do I spend my evenings? Question why some men have a platform and how many 12 yr old prepubescent boys think these men are like gods when they ramble like that kid from the wild thornberry’s

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

I saw this post about how football players getting traded to different teams is the male equivalent to your mum selling you to one direction and I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking about it.

#onedirection #Wattpad

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

This might be the craziest turn of events I’ve seen. Tristan Tate standing up for the woman’s England Football Team winning was not on my 2024 bingo card.

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Too many things are happening this month so for my peace of mind can we chill out, yeah? Cos if I read another crazy news story this month I may lose my already decrepit mind.

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

I feel like the human equivalent to male birds dancing to get a female bird’s attention is Magic Mike because the few minutes of interaction with those men had me truly in awe and questioning why I was dating a man who resembled a naked mole rat

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

You know how in Toy Story how someone had the thought of “what if one them was no longer alive but Andy kept playing with them” what is the life span of a sentient object but cos I’m of the theory that as long as u love it, it’s still alive.

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

I don’t know what I’d prefer more: being stretched to allow all my bodies tension to crack orrrr be forced into a cube like what Wall•e does.

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Fun Fact: animals like horses, rats and rabbits don’t have a gag reflex which is why rat poison can’t necessarily kill us, I just makes us very ill.

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Fun Fact: Horses sweat is a foamy consistency- I was to old to learn this fact

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Somedays I wish I was a cat sleeping in a bisexual woman’s flower pot

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

The world is so crazy, I’m kinda glad i don’t know everything because I think it’s more fun and enjoyable to learn something new and realise the world is so much bigger than u originally thought

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Realistically what was SpongeBob going to do if he and sandy got together, like genuinely what would happen

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

Do u think that everyone in bikini bottom was so miserable because SpongeBob sucked the joy from all of them cos he’s the only one who seems to be happy, he’s literally a sponge

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

I sometimes wonder if peeling off my own flesh would be satisfying or would I get upset that it didn’t come off in one piece like a face mask.

[Grace @kermitcrimes]

So toast is just bread that took a holiday to Spain… it’s 3am