K.

#Host, graphic designer, @TagAssassin

[K. @kittykaresless]

Blake Shelton isn’t even the sexiest man at this Waffle House.

[K. @kittykaresless]

“So thug,” I whisper to myself as I slide my phone into the back waistband of my sweatpants.

[K. @kittykaresless]

@Spotify why am I limited on how long I can stream audiobooks?! I can listen to 300 hours straight of “What’s new pussycat?” and it’s fine, but it cuts off at 15 hours a month on audiobooks?! I should be able to spend MY time on MY premium subscription how I want.

[K. @kittykaresless]

Limitless is a movie where Bradley Cooper finds a drug that makes him so smart he spends the next 1 hour and 30 minutes doing the dumbest shit imaginable.

[K. @kittykaresless]

When I’m really in a hurry, I’ll just use whatever eyeshadow remnants are stuck to the lid of the palette.

I call this mystery color “the spice melange.”

[K. @kittykaresless]

I was going to boycott Dean Cain, but I couldn’t find anything he’s in to stop watching. 💅🏻

[K. @kittykaresless]

@jlane90 Oh I’m always lurking about in the shadows. 🥷🏻

[K. @kittykaresless]

I mean, I’d be more embarrassed somebody got a photo of me at a Coldplay concert.

[K. @kittykaresless]

If he wanted to say he beat Mike Tyson without ACTUALLY beating Mike Tyson, he should’ve just challenged him to a spelling bee. #TysonPaul #Fake

[K. @kittykaresless]

The cleverness of tiny details never disappoints @barkbox

[K. @kittykaresless]

@elonmuskADO Homey, EVERYONE still calls it Twitter.

[K. @kittykaresless]

@Alphafox78 Nah. But I noticed her mouth doesn’t match the track she’s lip syncing to. 💅🏻

[K. @kittykaresless]

@jvbt82hhs I’ll have to work a half day on the day of my funeral.

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

May The Fourth Arrest Be With Him

[K. @kittykaresless]

My superhero name is Shitshow.

[K. @kittykaresless]

@BrettFishA Would that be the opening? 😂

[K. @kittykaresless]

Are there dating apps people DO tell their spouses about?🤔

[Chaucer Doth Tweet @LeVostreGC]

The X logo of twitter doth looke lyke the logo of a dating syte that people do not tell their spouses about.

[K. @kittykaresless]

After having seen what Timothee Chalamet does with peaches, I don’t want to know what he does with chocolate. Hard pass on #wonka

[K. @kittykaresless]

Just heard some pop cover of Seven Nation Army in the grocery store. I do not know who is responsible for this hate crime, but they should be burned at the stake and their family line sterilized.

[K. @kittykaresless]

I realized I had the wrong number when this guy was looking back at me #WhileStaringIntoTheVoid

[K. @kittykaresless]

Runaway #MakeASongAboutYourDad