Nobody tells you how hard it is to rewire your brain so you can allow amazing things to happen to you after so much trauma or hurt. Blessings exist, good people exist, a softer life exists. Let it happen.
One day we're all going to look back and realize that God's timing was perfect, and everything happened the way it did for a reason. To protect us, to guide us and to redirect us to where we were always meant to be. Trust the process.