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Hunting Rifle: Adds a touch of class to any Zombie Hunter's arsenal. #PleaseStayCalm

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The Assassin: Up your Zombie headshot tally with its patented laser scope. Saves on time, effort and ammunition! #PleaseStayCalm

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Machete: Machete's are a must-have in any zombie scenario. Doubly so in any jungle environment. #PleaseStayCalm

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.38 Revolver: Nothing says "America" quite like six rounds in a visible rotation cylinder. #PleaseStayCalm

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Government, To Survivors Outside Green Zone: "Don't Bother Coming!", "Good Luck, Though! XOXO" #PleaseStayCalm

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Ironic Twist: Well-Entrenched Former-Mexican Drug Cartels Protect Borders Against American Zombie Hordes #PleaseStayCalm

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Green Zone Sports And Entertainment Commissioner Dismisses "Zombie Olympics" Idea As "Too Hunger Games" #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated Suji San Sung Church and found 100 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 디긴차이나 and found 12 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 죽전 아울렛 and found 32 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated KCC and found 0 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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Experts Dismiss Claims Of Zombified Loyalists Appearances as "Too Ludicrous Even To Consider" #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 스카이골프 and found 18 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 스카이골프 and found 23 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 죽전 아울렛 and found 35 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 카페베네 용인죽전점 and found 15 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 파리바게트 and found 20 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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July 4 Plans To Ambivalently Sweep All Zombie US Citizens From National Mall Cancelled: "Too Metaphorical" #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated 롯데리아 죽전1동점 and found 26 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm

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I just investigated ASKETO and found 23 zombies. Time to clear them out! #PleaseStayCalm