LOL Status Feed

Funny statuses for twitter

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Dana White: ‘Miesha Tate needs a few more wins to get title shot’ http://t.co/zXkDmG6Qmn

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I posted a new photo to Facebook http://t.co/yqIhlnMDJL http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change… http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Don't waste good booze on bad memories http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It's like yeah I know you have more money than me, no… http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Starting to think the "walls" you have around you were built by the terrified villagers to keep you in. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I would fall into a pit of quicksand. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Everybody wants to shine, but no one wants to polish. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Relationship status: Is anybody looking for US citizenship? http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can't wait for someone to ask me for it! http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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The future belongs to the kids who climb up the slide instead of using the steps. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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King sized beds. Because get the fuck away from me. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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If she posts 7 new selfies a day, Regardless of how hot she is, Let it go bud. You'll never give the amount of… http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Roughly 40% of my childhood was spent preparing for the day I would fall into a pit of quicksand. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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[sales meeting] Boss: ...and that's the message we need to deliver to customers. Any questions? Me: Yeah, what's… http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Not now kids. I'm managing my online empire. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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I'm in luck guys! The stranger next to me in this hotel lobby bar knows everything and is sharing it with me even… http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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When you've identified your kryptonite, you have a choice, let it destroy you or stay away from it. http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V

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Boogers #worstbirthdaygift http://t.co/zwCkJl5s6V