Marty Archibald

Tweet about me to find out about me.

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

Move over Coronavirus vaccine. There is a new scientific breakthrough in town.
https://t.co/UDtM2GOH0U

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

What's Mike Pence up to? I know he's been dead inside for 50 years, but has anyone checked on him recently?

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

WE DID IT!!!

Now we can go back to the salad days of when things were merely shitty.

#BidenHarris2020

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

@tweethue I'm not trying to have a conversation with you on here.

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

@tweethue : You should only use our charger.

Me: All right. Where can I buy that?

@tweethue: You can't. We don't sell it.

Me: ...

This is why no one like you, @tweethue.

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

@iamaroadtrip I'm good at boundaries.

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

People with access to a Netflix and Hulu account are just as entitled as those who went to the Fyre Festival.

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

It's raining in LA so instead of giving yourself the usual 2 hours to get anywhere, make sure you give yourself 47 hours. #News #Rain #Rainpocalypse #LosAngeles #LARain #BePrepared #LANews

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

People say comedy never accomplishes anything, but thanks to the 44,589 comedians doing unique, original jokes about 'Baby, It's Cold Outside' being rapey, we don't have to listen to it anymore. #BabyItsColdOutside #Rapey

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

Thinking of seeing the new Purge movie tonight, but I've never seen any of the previous ones. How confused am I going to be? The whole concept of The Purge seems like a pretty hard concept to grasp. #Pruge #ThePurge

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

@HaHaHallieK I grew up in Logan. It's going. I slowed down a bit because I was running low on money. But I'm not as poor anymore.

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

@HaHaHallieK Oh, hey. Sorry. I rarely ever check my Twitter. I remember you. Yep. I'm from Utah.

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews @MrRogersMovie Fred Rogers is a goddamn liar. There is no way he weighed exactly 143 pounds, everyday, for nearly 40 years. 3 stars. #MrRogers #FredRogers #WontYouBeMyNeighbor #Liar #143 #Movie #Review #Cat #Dog #3Stars

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews Father and daughter leaving theater after watching Oceans 8.

Elderly Man: YOU DIDN'T RECOGNIZE CATE BLANCHETT!?!

Daughter: I don't know who she is.

Elderly Man: You can ride home by yourself. I'll get an Uber.

3 stars

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews @TagTheMovie I went into this movie expecting to leave upset and bored. Instead, I left crying because I was reminded that I have no friends. 3 stars. #Tag #Movie #Review #Reviews #Cat #Puppy

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews @HotelArtemisMov I know I enjoyed watching it, but that is all I remember. Very forgettable. 3 stars. #HotelArtemis #MovieReview #Movie

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews @AmerAnimals A librarian lets a band of bumbling idiots steal some books. 3 stars. #AmericanAnimals #MovieReview #3Stars

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews @Oceans8Movie A group of woman go against stereotypes and break down barriers by doing whatever it takes to get there hands on a necklace. 3 stars. #Oceans8 #Movie #Review #3Stars

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews @HereditaryMovie While driving his sister to the hospital to try and save her from a deadly allergic reaction, the young girl gets decapitated, so the boy returns home and leaves the headless body in the car for his mom to find. 3 stars. #Hereditary #Spoiler

[Marty Archibald @MartyArchibald]

#MartysMovieReviews @ActionPointMov Did you love all the stunts in the Jackass movies but wished for some sort of narrative? Well, they left two of the stunts in and added a narrative. 3 Stars. #ActionPoint #Jackass #Movie #Reviews #Puppies #Selfie