Made In April

made in april .... destroyed over time ....

[Made In April @made_in04]

i was i was a bird. or a plane. or a train. or anything but a person that feels this way.

[Made In April @made_in04]

by the time I get finished with things, I forget what I am supposed to say

[Made In April @made_in04]

i wish i figured out how to hold on to some places

[Made In April @made_in04]

just one day
and one thing
at a
time

[Made In April @made_in04]

im perpendicular but still gonna try to stop this train going full speed

[Made In April @made_in04]

the son of god coming to texas with a twist off

[Made In April @made_in04]

i am so capable but so incapable. i hate knowing how much i've been able to do while knowing how easily i let myself just lose. i don't want to need anyone or anything but i really, genuinely yearn for that type of person.

[Made In April @made_in04]

in the grand scheme of it all, no 2 years isn't that long. but 2 years of losing myself after 22 years of bleeding to find her feels like a lifetime i can never recover.

[Made In April @made_in04]

a drop across my lips laying on my side. nothing ever feels so right.

[Made In April @made_in04]

i'm as good as man of july

[Made In April @made_in04]

even if there's a half life of this, you've felt like a lifetime

[Made In April @made_in04]

the sun forgets to shine on me. i only get sunburned in my dreams.

[Made In April @made_in04]

you grow up and you somewhat own up and the whole time you're in and out of a motel finding bulk order art to be the most momentarily profound thing in your mind. but that's it and that's beautiful. it's all in your mind and it will always be in your mind.

[Made In April @made_in04]

every moment feels so lost to my mind

[Made In April @made_in04]

i'm really sorry for all the things i said to you when i didn't know what to do. or how to be. or what to say. or when to tell you i didn't know how to be loved but i definitely knew i loved existing if it meant i was doing it with you.

[Made In April @made_in04]

maybe i need to let myself be mad or sad or anything but
"i'm okay! how are you? :)"

there has to be space for me too

[Made In April @made_in04]

i wish i could hold everyone i ever loved at the same time and tell them how much they meant something to me

[Made In April @made_in04]

i have learned a lot of little things that help me cope and lost a lot more along along the way. i've found what i finally need and lost every thing i longed for in the process.

[Made In April @made_in04]

i feel very sad. like i miss something i've never had. like i miss something and i'm not sure if it's real or just a façade

[Made In April @made_in04]

misery in metaphor