Ben Schwartz

a good way to release stress is to make up a twitter account with the sole purpose of saying the shit i can't say in real life. this is that

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

@AsaAkira better than sloppy anal ;)

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

i think football makes america as country dumber #nfl

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

out of all the thousands of pornstars, #memphismonroe would be the one I'd blow my load on. Cheers Memphis

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

"excuses! excusing! think dammit!" is what's going through my head while i'm telling my girlfriend "yes, we can have sex today" #loose

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

just realized that pretty much everyone on twitter that is using #bigdick is black. I guess italians don't twitter.

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

my partner at work is fucking hot and has an ugly asshole boyfriend. do i just wipe it out? #bigdick

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

"is it my problem you're a tiny dicked asian man" is what i will say to my boss after i fuck his wife.

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

My ex wants to catch up over the phone. I want to fuck her like a whore.

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

"if you want to see this gay promo on #facebook you're gonna have to give #facebook access to every single detail about your life" fuck!!

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

the miami heat represent the end of my caring about the nba. #nbatv

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

why pay for a hooker when there's so many polish women out there???

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

the best way to not do actual work at the office is schedule every meeting you possibly can. It's also the best way to be a douchebag.

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

Why do i get the feeling my girl is gonna find that last tweet.

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

Is there a good way to tell your girl she's lose, unattractive and fat?

[Ben Schwartz @mobudda]

Fact: Drake is a half jew rich kid actor from one of the riches areas in Toronto. What the fuck happened to HIP HOP?!?!?!?