M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™

I'm Ernie from southern Maine. Mostly post wordplay in retirement. Like streaming, the ocean, early jazz 🪊 & the Boston teams. Sorry - DMs broken. #F4F

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Being able to love doesn't make us human - it's our ability to select all the pictures that include a bus.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Don't take a cruise if named Eileen Dover.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

'Nowledge Nugget:

New Zealand was the first to give women the vote in 1912.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

What's the best fruit for a magician to materialize?

A pear.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

What's corn's favorite holiday?

New Ears.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Golf? No Sir. Prefer prison flog.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

During wars did sailors with loose lips get the most promotions?

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Snails ARE slow - but you would be too if you carried your house on your back.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

If I were a morning person I'd be someone else.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Thought she was joking when she said she wanted to buy the complete library of The Monkees.

Then I saw her face.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

@HawkEmDownChris Everyone knows it's Windy...

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

'Nowledge Nugget:

Credit cards with chips are also called EMV cards, the acronym being Europay, MasterCard and Visa.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Why are top-tier comedians so good at quieting hecklers when they give them "the look?"

Because with great dour comes great response ability.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

My hobbies include eating and complaining about
being full.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

"Just red and green slices on my pepperonly pizza, please."

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

"Fido's operation will be around $950, but that's just a ruff estimate."

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Did Van Helsing create the stake house?

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Cake it easy today.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Yesterday no rain fell on Spain, who did not go down the drain.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

@coachG61 Senior sleep sucks.

[M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ @MonotoneofBill]

Zach has never been a "10" but he has been five "2's."