nick naney

fatass/dumbass

watch my stand up special NESSUN DORMA here:

[nick naney @nicknaney]

They only let me do one tweet a day in prison so I always make sure it's really fucked up shit

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@BrettRedacted yes thats a real photo of them all going to craft services for granola bars

[nick naney @nicknaney]

Thought I was scrolling through ig stories and kept seeing the same goat cheese eating mf before I realized I was looking at a mirror

[nick naney @nicknaney]

Had a great time writing on this and really excited for you guys to see it!

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@JoeyMannarino I think he's going to resign if you don't change your last name to Marinara, so hop to it lad!

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@spencerpratt I heard you would've won if you chose a profile pic where you looked even more like youre holding in a shit

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@ksorbs hey shut up dumbass and change your last name to Sorbet

[Chris Stephens @ChrisStephensMD]

(Eddie Murphy doing Dirty Harry voice) I know what you’re thinkin, did he play six Klumps or only five?

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@JoeyMannarino just change your last name to MARINARA already!

[nick naney @nicknaney]

Whoever invented milk must be like scary smart. You could put this stuff on anything!

[Dan Licata @danlicatasucks]

just called my Mom to tell her i'M HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@JoeyMannarino I heard they would’ve won if you changed your last name to Marinara

[nick naney @nicknaney]

The things that Aragorn tweets about

[Jamison Daniel @AntiquarianMuse]

When Obama was casting his ballot for the 2014 midterms, a man jokingly told the president not to touch his girlfriend, who was voting next to him. Obama then casually roasted the man until he finished voting.😂

[nick naney @nicknaney]

Just did a self tape for “I Also Play Judge Dredd”

[nick naney @nicknaney]

Just found out there’s midterms in 2 days and I haven’t studied at all 😩

[nick naney @nicknaney]

Sometimes when I get really mad I rip off my penis and throw it at a passing car. I gotta stop doing that.

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@danlicatasucks

[nick naney @nicknaney]

so embarrassing when your penis gets caught in the zipper of your suitcase and you don't notice till you get to the airport, thanks @delta btw for letting me bring that as a carry-on given the circumstances :)

[nick naney @nicknaney]

this movie is super funny and I'm so excited people are going to see it, they're already calling it the "Clayface of 2027"

[Deadline @DEADLINE]

Simple Town Sketch Group Secures North American Deal For New Film 'Big Break' https://t.co/JBNyJnhkuY

[nick naney @nicknaney]

@AriFleischer Shut up milk dud

[nick naney @nicknaney]

The cows from those old Chick-fil-A ads are socialist now