Mayor of Nothingville

• Chronicles of a Chronically Pained Warrior 💪🏼 • Professional NICU Alumni • Amateur Parent • ‘Charismatic' Introvert • Chaos Coordinator • The 5th Dentist

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@Walmart should change their rollback signs to "our employees will verbally assault you unprovoked, and we absolutely stand behind their right to do so". #StayClassy #UsingAbsolutelyAnyOtherGroceryStore

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@SkipTheDishes That would be redundant. You have already stated you have no affiliation with your drivers and their actions. But maybe the next time one of your drivers threatens to run over an entire family for no reason, they will stumble across this tweet and DM me for the police report 🥰

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

What a way to end the day - @SkipTheDishes driver ram at my vehicle while yelling "YOU SHOULD BE SCARED!" after I told him my children were with me. I had the AUDACITY to be in a drive thru line!
Class act Skip! Well done holding zero accountability 👌

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

Hi @netflix
All of us regular people are out here struggling to keep virus free food on the table while homeschooling and unable to work etc etc and you have the audacity to do your annual price gouge again NOW? Put it off til ‘22 like everyone else is. How selfish and elitist.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

Quick heads up with @magnolia products & conduct: don’t bother.
I dropped $500 on faulty product, to be told by representatives if I wanted a refund I would have to take it out of the pockets of our local small business. During a pandemic, doesn’t sit well with me to do so.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@AnnieClaireBO well done talking through the entire Remembrance Day ceremony.
You know we could just listen to the narrator at the actual event, right? And your useless chatter over riding the ceremony is a disgrace. What a disappointment. Poor reporting.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@ShawDirect You have our info!! It’s on you now. Do better.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@ShawDirect ‘s wait time is the short length of serving just one term as hallway patrol plus one pregnancy in the winter (approx 2 years).

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@ShawDirect will you prorate billing on services you are ignorantly NOT providing?
Ex: all wrong channels
No customer service available
Designated employee to deal with our move has been ‘busy’ for 2 weeks.

Looking forward to paying our first bill for no one’s satellite. 🤷🏼‍♀️😡

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@SportsmansBox my box came without the Nomad Apparel (gear B), and I’m unable to get ahold of customer service. How do I get mine sent to me?

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

The world: save your TP, your food, your money!
Pandemic: bake bread and tell Netflix to stop asking ‘are you still there?’
@netflix : this seems like the perfect time to up our charges to a vulnerable populous! #Greedy #HuluYouUp?

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

I have packed more Harry Potter merchandise in our move than I have sentimental stuff. By about 3x.
That probably says something about me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@DirectEnergy After a couple weeks of this, you’d think the request would make it near the top of your list.
Looking forward to hearing from you, at some point shortly.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

Fuck this guy, I’m going to Twitter to see if Malia kicked his ass to the curb.

*10 seconds later*

He cheated on her and she’s gay.

I tip my hat to you Internet. You really were all over that.

Also, I am now a factual internet reference. 😁 #LookMaNoHands #BelowDeckMed

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

@MELLOWTONEclub @MellowtoneRecs @artinliverpool Stop @ ing me.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

‘Make your purchases through loyal businesses.’

Shutterfly charges $40 for 250 prints.

Hello Walmart!

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

Elon Musk’s kid’s name is proof 2020 was not a year made to last.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

Tom Delonge is 100% feeling 200% better than you today.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

Quarantine phase: invited jojoba witnesses into my home. Arm extended (comically happy) with the door wide open, our eyes met in the most extreme match of chicken I have ever been a part of.

I am drunk with power.

[Mayor of Nothingville @nothingville]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the dumb will inherit the earth.
We’ll all die from their idiocy, but the GTL & NASCAR assholes are alive and thriving.

[WFLA NEWS @WFLA]

Clearwater Beach, Florida is PACKED today despite "social distancing" recommendations. https://t.co/WzGydcP1Ja